Red tide a-comin'!
If you told me at the age of 12 that one day I would be sexually aroused by my period cramps I would have slapped you in your mouth.
I mean, probably not because I was a very polite child, but I would've REALLY wanted to.
When I was younger my period cramps were severe. I would get nausea, diarrhea, I would get dizzy, the pain was so bad I break out in a cold sweat. Thus it was that I learned at a very young age that being a woman can be hell.
As I got older and started taking hormonal birth control my period cramps lessened. It was still there, but now it was tolerable. This delightful fact was something I reveled in, and then I found out something even better about my period pain.
Uh, it REALLY turned me on.
I'd get that dull ache in my uterus, feel that lower back twinge, and then the cramping would begin. But now, instead of racing to the bathroom to hurl out my guts, I find myself scuttling off to my room to make quick use of my vibrator.
I used to know that I was due for my period when I broke out or got a craving for all-of-the-chocolate, but now I know my period's coming because I got unspeakably horny, like, horny enough that I have considered buying a FitBit for sex.
I just chalked this up to my naturally kinky nature, I figured that it must be a BDSM thing. I like a bit of pain during sex from time to time and maybe I was getting some sort of erotic charge from my period cramps for that reason. It made a certain amount of warped sense to me.
Eventually my curiosity got the better of me, so I did a little homework.
Most doctors worth their salt will tell you that it's normal to be super horny when you're ovulating. Which I mean, duh, that's kind of a biological imperative, right? But they are still at a bit of a loss as it why women get super horny during their period.
Some think it's cultural. We know we CAN'T get pregnant, so we aren't worrying about it. This means we are able to enjoy sex more. This kind of sounds like baloney to me and also anyone who has ever watched one episode of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant.
There is another theory that makes a lot more sense to me. During your period your body is producing and retaining a lot more fluid. This fluid can actually put pressure on your sex organs which can trigger an arousal reflex and make you want to have lots of period sex.
I wonder if that's the body's way of telling you to go and have sex, because, there is research that shows sex during your period can reduce cramps.
Also, having sex during your period is just plain hotter. You've got all that extra lubrication, improved pelvic muscle tone and you're even more elastic. Period sex is better.
It's good to know that I'm not alone in my perviness. That said, I wish women's bodies weren't so cloaked in mystery. It feels like we can explain everything that happens to a man's junk, but ask a basic question about female sexuality and it feels like you mostly get a resounding chorus of shrugs.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to have have sex with something, and then maybe eat a cookie or two.