"I farted ... into his mouth."
Anal sex is pretty divisive in its own right. But anal play as a whole has a lot of lovers and haters. And analingus? Some people don't even know what it is, let alone actually do it. But for those who have tried it and are into it, it's something they come back to time and again. It's a fetish for a reason.
While it's obviously not for everyone, there are a lot of fans out there. Here's what happens when eating ass it goes hysterically wrong.
1. He shoved ice cream up my ass.
"Many years ago while in my twenties in London, I dated a guy named Simon. He was filthy and loved to shove ice cream up my ass, then eat it out (I know, FREAK!). Well, one day he used chocolate ice cream, and as he came up for air, I looked at his face. It was not pretty. Needless to say, it killed the moment." —Shana, 23
2. He licked my sweaty butthole.
"My boyfriend woke up late on a Sunday morning and snuck up behind me as I was brushing my teeth. He must have felt that I was wet and probably thought that I just got out of the shower. He started kissing me down my back and I kept saying, 'Babe, stop... not yet.' And before I could finish, he was face deep in my ass, pushing my leg up on the bathroom vanity. I didn't have to tell him to stop again because he quickly realized on his own: I wasn't wet from the shower, but I had JUST returned from a run. Poor guy." —Alice, 27
3. I farted... into his mouth.
"I was having 'ex sex' with someone I was still madly in love with. He started to eat my ass, and without me even feeling a teeny warning, I unleashed a silent but deadly fart into his mouth. He flew back across the room like a cat that’s seen a cucumber, choking and spluttering while I, even though horrified, was hysterical with embarrassed laughter. We never got back together, shockingly." —Amy, 27
4. He gave me a black eye.
"I had been dating my now-husband for about three weeks when I first let him go down on me. I was super-comfortable and ready to have sex. It felt so good. Like, 'this guy's a keeper' good. Then, before I knew it, he hoisted my butt high up in the air and took the back of my knees, pushing them down by my head. He was going to town on my ass.
I welcomed the gesture, but could not keep it together. The pleasure felt almost unbearable and I fought to bring my knees back down. Well, he fought to keep them up and when he pushed them again, he actually made me knee myself in the face. It hurt. Bad. The next morning, I woke up with a black eye. I had to make up a story to my colleagues about how it happened! We still laugh about that." —Shelly, 25
5. My nose was too big to fit in his ass.
"Every time I try to eat ass, my nose gets in the way. Maybe I'm doing something wrong?" —Doris, 28
6. My upset stomach got the best of me.
"An old roommate of mine was getting his ass eaten by his boyfriend at the time, and apparently he had eaten something that didn't agree with him, because he farted directly into his boyfriend's mouth. For some reason, they stayed together after that for like a year, so I guess they both knew what they were getting into." —Mendy, 24
7. His ass hair got stuck in my teeth.
"My boyfriend really loves to get his ass eaten and I love to make him feel good. The problem is that his ass is extremely hairy. I basically kill two birds with one stone and get a nice teeth flossing each time I do it. (This is gross to some people; I get it. But the desire to please the man I love supersedes any disgust factor.)" —Adrian, 42
8. He licked my butthole after anal sex — and it REEKED.
"Words of advice: never, EVER get your ass eaten after anal sex. As you would expect, your insides are turned outside and the taste and smell aren't as pleasant as a fresh ass eating right out of the shower." —Zoe, 22