You are closer than you know.
Everyone has better luck than you. You might as well just resign yourself to being a... what did people use to call it? Oh yeah, an old maid.
Don't give up yet.
I know it doesn't feel like it today, and it might not feel like it tomorrow, and I'm very sorry for that, but for whatever reason, you need to go through this period of life to get to that promised land of a committed, happy relationship.
You feel alone and like nobody else in the world has felt the heart pain you are feeling right now. You're ready to give up on love completely. Just stop looking; stop dating. It's pointless. But it's only a phase.
You were OK with having short relationships when you were first dating as a teenager, and even in your early twenties. Things were not meant to last then. That's the time of life to meet different people, date and have fun. You were figuring out who you were.
But you're getting older. Why can't you make a relationship work? Why do the men always seem to leave? No, that's not true. You've sent your fair share packing, too.
But what is it about you that seems to jinx good relationships?
The last guy was different. You could see yourself spending your life with him. You were engaged! Well, maybe not engaged, but engaged to be engaged. It just doesn't make any sense. Why would the perfect relationship end?
Because it was meant to end; he obviously wasn't the right guy for you. I know you can't understand it now. You're too upset. You're in the midst of the grief. You feel confused, but you have to trust me.
Or trust you or your version of a god or a higher power. This is the time it helps to have some kind of belief system to carry you through. Believing in yourself and in the beauty of your life as it unfolds will allow you to move forward.
We all have lessons to learn in life and relationships are the perfect lab where we can work things out. Just because you haven't found the perfect match yet doesn't mean you're not getting closer to him.
And even though you say you will never date again, trust me: you've said that before and you've always gotten back out there. Remember back to the times that you successfully got through the pain. Those successes can help give you strength today.
One day, when you meet the guy who is THE guy, everything will suddenly makes sense.
You will realize that the move to the big city to be with one guy, which didn't work out, was vital to getting you to the next right place in your life. Maybe it led to a brand new career that you didn't even know you would have, which led to a relocation to another city where you met a whole lot of other people.
You dated and eventually thought you found the guy that was the right guy but that relationship ended. You decided not to move this time and you tried new activities, meetups and clubs — you put yourself out there. That led to new friendships, which lead to new interests, which led to the next guy.
The chain of your life is building. You're having incredible experiences and relationships. These are how you remember the different times of your life, but that is not your whole life. You are living in and amongst all the people who love you: family, colleagues and friends. You are traveling and seeing the world. You are learning about yourself.
You are able to look more critically at your relationships after each one ends. You are able to recognize patterns now and see how you tend to face similar issues in relationships. You are working on your issues even while not dating anyone, so the next relationship has more chance of survival.
Keep doing all of those things. Keep getting out there. Keep following the path of your life and then one day, without realizing it, you will meet another man in a bar, a bookstore or a party...and you will try again, and everything will finally make sense.
You will realize you had to have all of your past experiences to get to the correct place and time where you would meet him. You had to go through everything you went through to get here.
You made it; you're on the top of that mountain and now you can look back behind you and see how you had to go through the rough climb to get to the top. You had to travel over rocky cliffs and jagged, narrow paths.
There was no other way to get to where you have finally found yourself. And now that you're at the top, you can see far ahead. It all makes sense. Every step was vital and part of your journey.
You are where you should be. You're with him and it was the steps you took which lead you there, so have faith. I know it may feel like you're still at the bottom of the hill, but you're much closer to the top than you realize.