How To Feel GOOD About Yourself After A One-Night Stand

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one-night stand
Contributor
Self, Sex

Step one: do not call him.

There’s no confusion quite as complex as the one that happens right after a one-night stand. The moment you wake up with a very unexpected person right by your side, your mind races with a million and one different questions.

If it’s a stranger, you worry about them being serial killers or having bad tattoos. If it’s a friend, you worry about how this will affect your friendship or if it will lead to something more. If it’s your ex, you worry about getting back together or how pissed off your mom is going to be. 

And of course, we have to worry about the whole “Oh, no, am I a slut now?” factor. (Answer: You're not, but it can be a mind-f*ck all on its own.)

In dealing with one-night stands, I’ve found the following advice to be the best: stop overthinking it. 


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Rather than freak out about the future, pay attention to the present moment. Instead of worrying about how he feels about you, focus on how you feel about yourself

After a one-night stand, the first thing you should do is figure out how you can get the ball in your court. Don’t linger around in the morning waiting for him to ask you to breakfast. If he doesn’t offer it within a few minutes of waking up, get out of there and treat yourself to some bomb-ass “I just got laid” pancakes. 

In these situations, the best move is to not expect anything. The hookup was just a hookup and you were a willing participant. He doesn’t owe you anything — and that’s okay. 

Now, the best one-night stands are with guys you are attracted to but don’t really want to date. They’re the easiest to handle because you don’t really want commitment or anything more

The worst situations are when you like the guy, but you have to be careful because you might just like him because you had sex with him. Think long and hard about the time you’ve spent together and ask yourself if you felt this way at all before the sex

If the answer is no, rest easy knowing it’s just your hormones and you’ll probably be over it in a day or two. 


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One-night stands are great if you know they’re one-night stands. Things only get bad when the lines get blurred and you’re not sure if you feel more.

So make it up in your mind that this is a one-time thing, and you’ll be able to high-five yourself for getting something rather than crying in your bathtub because he hasn’t called you. 

Tell yourself you’re hot, and he wanted it, and he’s hot and you wanted it, and that’s all there is to it.

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