It’s not as counterproductive as it sounds.
From our selfies to our new level of respect for single ladies who are doing it all for themselves, it’s easy to cross over from “doing me,” to “it’s all about me.”
While some level of selfishness is needed to be a happy person — i.e. making sure you’re living the kind of life YOU want, not what someone else wants — the majority of our good vibes come from thinking about other people.
When we’re single, we preach all day long about how we’re not settling down and how we’re going to wait for someone who will treat us the way we deserve. That’s all fine and dandy (and you should never lose sight of that), but that mindset can’t take up your entire life.
Think about how you’re treating the people around you, like your mom, your best friend or your co-workers. Do you freely and openly give them love and appreciation, or are you so focused on yourself that you haven’t really thought about it?
Most of our problems are self-created and they’re self-focused. When life seems too hard and too much, it’s usually because we’re thinking about ourselves.
It’s easy to forget about the world around us if we’re constantly living inside our heads. But if you stop for a few moments, and put your focus elsewhere, you’ll be surprised at how quickly your problems disappear.
Rather than focusing on the kind of love you want, focus on the kind of love you can give.
Surprise people with their favorite candy. Take them out for dinner. Listen to them when they talk to you. Ask them about the things they have going on.
In other words, be the kind of person you want to attract into your life.
You can’t expect to get love if you’re not constantly giving it. You can’t ask for someone to be there for you if you’re not there for other people.
So the next time you start to wallow in your own self pity, stop focusing on you and start paying attention to someone else. Whether it’s your best friend or a total stranger, think about one thing you can easily do to make them happy.
And then go do it.
The moment we step outside of ourselves and try to make someone else’s day a little brighter, we realize that happiness isn’t that all hard to find.