She doesn't need you to make her life; she just wants you to share yours.
I had been a single mom for all of three seconds when I decided that this wasn't such a bad life to live. All the panicking I did about being on my own, about raising my daughter alone, and about depending completely on myself vanished when I realized I was going to rock the hell out of it.
And then I met my fiancé and soon realized the best thing for our relationship was that I was a woman who depended entirely on myself.
Independence is a pretty sought-after quality, especially for women. Beyoncé sings about it. Your favorite TV shows feature characters searching for it, working for it, living it. Society shares success story after success story of women who depend entirely on themselves, but when it comes to relationships, so many men are intimidated.
Why? Because of a power struggle? Because they focus on some archaic idea that a woman should be dependent on a man?
When you really think about it, a strong woman isn't new. Even Ma Ingalls could handle the homestead when Pa wasn't there. She could chop wood and ride a horse and keep the home fires burning, all while making sure there were clean bloomers for all those children. She didn't need Pa, but they were better when they were together.
And that's exactly what you get when you fall in love with a woman who depends completely on herself. You know her love is true, pure, and real. She doesn't need you. She wants you.
She's not looking for a man to take care of her or to let her borrow their Netflix account. She wants someone to cuddle with, someone to talk to on her way home from work, and someone to share all of the ups and downs with.
She already has a life; she just wants to share it with you.
When I met my fiance, I refrained from saying phrases like, "He saved me" or that I was "so lucky to have him." Of course I'm lucky I found him — he is my soulmate. But I was going to be just fine if I had never met him — and he knows that.
He knows that I depend completely on myself for my happiness, my self-worth, my confidence. He just added a light that made everything bigger and brighter.
Falling in love with a woman who depends completely on herself doesn't mean she doesn't need your support, your love or your affirmation. It doesn't mean she won't appreciate you picking up the tab for dinner or pitching in around the house. It means she is her own person.
Her independence is about more than finances; she gets her energy from within herself. She has her own dreams, aspirations, and a life separate from you.
You two are just better when you're together.