Photo: Dara Kaliton / Shutterstock
Not worth it.
By Emily Blackwood — Written on Oct 05, 2021
Male attention is literally amazing.
There’s nothing quite like the adrenaline rush/insane ego boost you feel when a cute guy notices you.
That feeling alone has sparked songs, books, and full-length feature films.
Probably because when a guy gives you attention, it feels like the start of a very big adventure.
And when you get caught up in the monotony of life — and you forget that you alone can make things exciting — that call for adventure is almost impossible to resist.
That's why smart girls who should know better go to bed with guys who aren't interested in much else.
An hour and a half later, the adventure is over, and you’re left wondering what the hell you did that for.
Really, why did you do that?
Because of attention.
No matter how much self-love we practice, attention will always be enticing.
It's why we call up ex-boyfriends and flirt with guys we have no interest in dating.
It's why we rekindle old love affairs we have absolutely no business rekindling.
Having that attention makes us feel validated. We know we’re great, but it only feels real until someone else knows it too.
It’s a mindset we seriously need to dump.
Attention is exciting, but it’s also fleeting.
And the majority of the time it won’t last longer than a few hours — especially when it’s coming from the guy sitting next to you at the bar.
Now if you’re cool with casual sex, and you can fully appreciate the temporariness of the moment, then by all means enjoy and take pleasure in it.
It’s only when you start trying to make that moment last and last that things can get a little sad and off-putting.
Because we never want the attention to the end.
It’s why we keep downloading Tinder and giving second chances to guys who blow us off.
Attention is never worth it if you’re still chasing it once it’s gone.
You can give yourself that same attention. You can make yourself feel special. You can give yourself the love and respect that you deserve.
You don’t need a guy to do that for you. Ever. Under any circumstance.
No matter what you do, keep yourself in check.
Know yourself, your worth, and what you actually value.
Because the most important thing you don’t want to lose is your self-respect.
It's something only you can determine and only you should ever have power over.
Make sure all the decisions you’re making are what you really, truly, genuinely want. Is this what you want — or does it just feel good in the moment?
Attention is fun for the moment, but respect lasts a lifetime.
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Emily Blackwood is a writer and editor focused on relationships and pop culture. Follow her on Twitter.