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If he does these things, it's a good sign the relationship is over for him.
By Ossiana Tepfenhart — Last updated on Mar 17, 2023
Relationships can be one of the most comforting, nurturing experiences you can have in this lifetime. They can liberate you and make you a person, but they can also become a personal prison.
The problem with some relationships is that the potential fallout from a breakup can be enough to scare some people away from finally cutting the cord on a toxic relationship. This is especially true with men, who often don't know how to break up with someone and deal with a girl's tears, anger, or freakouts.
Does your partner seem like they're all of a sudden disinterred, disengaged, and distant? A break in the pattern is a sign your relationship is crumbling.
In addition, if your partner has become emotionally distant, shows no interest in spending time with you, outwardly expresses his unhappiness, and stays together out of obligation, these are all signs he wants to end the relationship but might not know how.
Are you worried that he's over you and wants to dump you? These signs a man is done with the relationship might point to some pretty bad news.
Here are 20 telltale signs the relationship is over for him
1. He shoots down any communication you try to spark.
If all of his answers are single-word replies, it's a bad sign. If he regularly makes no effort to try to tell you anything about his day, or if you literally have to wheedle information out of him, he's done.
He doesn't view you as his friend and confidant anymore. He's stonewalling you because he wants you to leave him alone.
2. Sex is now a thing of the past.
Men are very physical creatures. This means that they tend to show their affection physically. If he can't bring himself to have sex with you sober, and if he's stopped initiating, the relationship has been done for a while.
A fulfilling sex life is a telltale sign that your partner is paying attention to you. This isn't the case for every relationship, however. Not all partners have the same sex drive. But if you notice a drastic change in your sex life, it is a sign that something isn't working anymore — emotionally and physically.
3. He no longer tries to argue with you.
A man who wants to save a relationship will argue with you if he feels a major issue must be addressed. If you notice that he's stopped trying to argue over things that ticked him off, he's already checked out of the relationship.
4. You notice that he sighs around you... a lot.
Sighs are often a way that people convey boredom, exasperation, or even just frustration. If he's that frustrated with you, it's a sign he's already done with trying.
5. He stopped spending money on you.
When you two started going out, he always had cash to spare. Now, despite having no added bills and getting a raise, he's always broke.
Whether we want to admit it or not, we tend to avoid spending money on people we don't care about. In other words, when a man's interest declines, so does the money he spends on you.
6. You must walk on eggshells around him because he's become irritable.
This is a sign that the relationship needs to be over, even if you must pull the trigger.
When a guy becomes so easily angered that you literally have to tiptoe around him, it's no longer a healthy situation. Being forced to walk on eggshells is a sign the relationship is boiling over with resentment, anger, and hurt.
Do yourself and your partner a favor, and leave this toxic relationship before it consumes you.
7. He stopped caring about significant dates.
Remember how your partner used to remember your birthday and anniversary? Yeah, the keywords here are “used to.” This kind of forgetfulness is often symbolic of much deeper issues.
8. He stopped being careful with your things or even went out of his way to break your stuff.
You can tell how much a person respects you by how much they respect your property. If they stop caring about treating your possessions nicely, it's a sign they no longer respect or like you.
If they go out of their way to break your stuff, it's safe to say they are trying to get you to leave them.
9. He stopped talking about long-term plans or has put major long-term plans on indefinite hold without reason.
Does he get snippy when you ask him about a wedding date? If you can't recall the last time he tried to initiate a couples' vacation or talk about moving in together, you might be dealing with a guy over this relationship and waiting for it to die.
Couples' vacation? More like couples therapy...
10. He picks fights with you over seemingly inconsequential matters.
This indicates that much bigger issues are at play, which isn't issues he wants to discuss. More often than not, a man picking random fights is either cheating, looking to break up, or breaking you down. Picking silly fights is a sign that a man is unhappy in the relationship — and that your relationship is dying.
Cut him loose if he does this on a regular basis. You deserve better than that.
11. Others take precedence over you at increasing levels.
A good sign he's done with a relationship is seeing how frequently he puts others above you. If you're a bottom priority, you need to leave.
12. It feels like you're putting in all the effort in the relationship.
Experts are right when they say men will move mountains for someone they love. If they can't even move their butt to try to be romantic or plan a date with you, it's often a good indicator that he's checked out of the relationship.
13. He's been cheating on you, and you keep catching him.
In many cases, men who want to break up with their girlfriends will try to “provoke” her into doing so by cheating.
Even if he's not consciously trying to provoke you into dumping him, regular affairs often indicate that he's no longer interested in being in a relationship with you.
14. You get the feeling that he's miserable.
You know the kind of misery I'm talking about, too. It's that miserable where he no longer is the person he used to be, where it goes beyond depression into despair.
Do him a favor and let him go.
15. He has told you he's only with you because of the kids/obligation/comfort.
This isn't even shady. He's telling you he's been over you for a while. It may be time to listen to him.
16. He keeps spending time with your mutual friends but stops inviting you to tag.
Everybody needs a little bit of space in a healthy relationship. But if your partner keeps excluding you from social events with mutual friends, it could be one of the signs he's over you.
This is especially true if he doesn't tell you where he's going before he leaves the house. People are excited to ask their partners to tag along in healthy relationships.
17. He stops laughing at your jokes.
Ever had the experience of saying something silly and being met with a blank wall of a person? This is a red flag in a relationship.
In the honeymoon phase of every relationship, you can't help yourself from laughing at all of your partner's jokes. Not enjoying your presence is one of the many subtle signs that your relationship is over and things aren't working for your partner.
18. Your friends and family notice something is up.
When in doubt, trust your loved ones. Often, friends and family can pick up on the signs that the marriage or relationship is over for him.
Do your friends get oddly quiet when you bring your partner up? Or are they straight-up telling you it seems like he tends to avoid spending time with you?
If unsure, checking in with your closest allies is a good idea. They can help you determine the warning signs you might not be able to notice.
19. He asks for so much personal space that you feel like you never see him.
There's a difference between needing more "me time" and needing more "without you time."
Everybody needs alone time, but you can usually tell the difference between wanting to be alone and wanting to be away from you. You can tell a guy is over you and done with the relationship when he doesn't want to be near you.
A relationship coach can help you find the difference between these two things, but one thing is certain: no matter what people say, a relationship should include quality time.
It could be a sign that your long-term relationship is ending if you feel like you're not getting enough of that.
20. You're losing interest as well.
Are you refusing to admit that your interest in your partner is declining?
Sometimes we can't admit the truth to ourselves. It's hard to say goodbye to someone we've spent a long time with. But if you feel like he's lost interest, it could be because you lost interest, too, and feel the same way.
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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a Jack-of-all-trades writer based in Red Bank, New Jersey.