Photo: Juan Pablo Olaya Celis / Shutterstock
You are.
By Emily Blackwood — Written on Oct 06, 2021
It’s no secret that life is hard, and sometimes you’re left feeling really empty.
Breakups and rejection have a way of making you forget all the things you once loved about yourself.
When you're in a relationship and you have access to constant compliments and ego boosts, everything is great. O
r when you're single and you have those brief beautiful moments where four different guys are into you, and you feel like Beyonce, the world is your oyster.
But the moment the person you like stops paying attention, it's like your confidence goes AWOL. Never to return.
It happens, and it’s totally normal to experience, but you have to bring yourself back to a place of self-worth all on your own. You can't rely on someone else to do it for you.
So he stopped texting you, commented on some other girl’s picture, or even dumped you out of nowhere.
It sucks. It hurts. But it doesn’t make you any less valuable.
It’s easy to feel awesome about yourself when everyone — or just the right one — is looking. The real test is when you’re left completely alone, just standing in front of a mirror, looking at your own naked reflection, scars and all.
Can you still love yourself? Can you still feel like Beyonce?
If you don’t feel like you can, then that means you're relying way too much on other people's opinions of you.
You're giving everyone else control over how your feel.
You can’t wait for people to constantly bring you up and tend to your fragile ego in order to feel better.
You’re the only one who holds that power. And that power is one of the greatest gifts of all time.
Sure, people will come into your life and make you feel great sometimes. But it’s temporary. They’re temporary.
And the more you tell yourself that — and the more you can get used to the idea that it won't be like that forever — then the more you can enjoy it. Truly.
You should be able to enjoy the attention when you have it, and not totally break down when you don't.
And you have to know how to be okay and confident without an audience’s approval.
So stop looking for the next like or guy to compliment you. Figure out different ways to build up your self-esteem alone, and remind yourself how worth it you really are.
The sooner you can do that, the easier it will be to deal with rejection.
Eventually, you won’t be so bothered if someone doesn’t like you, because you like yourself.
And that’s more than enough.
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Emily Blackwood is a writer and editor focused on relationships and pop culture. Follow her on Twitter.