Though we sometimes might confuse ourselves emotionally, I think we can all logically understand that you can’t force somebody to do anything. Even those you’ve been in a serious relationship with for some time.
It doesn’t matter how much you kick or scream or plead or beg. You can’t control how someone else treats you.
All you can control is what kind of treatment you accept.
Now all of that sounds real good on paper, but applying in real life is where it gets tricky. I’ve often found myself making excuses for my boyfriends' (lol, now all ex-boyfriends) behavior and constantly telling myself and my mom that he’s only human.
People make mistakes. No one is perfect. But that’s still not a good enough reason for someone to treat you like garbage.
So rather than sit around and moan about how you wish he was more romantic, or that he put down his phone and listened to you, do something about. I’m not talking couple’s counseling or yet another long lecture.
I’m talking about leaving.
Obviously you need to evaluate your situation first (marriage, kids, etc.,) but if the only thing invested in this other person is you, then get the off outta there. Don’t wait around for someone to change. Be the change.
When you do this, there’s a chance he’ll notice and try to change for you. Now you can either give him another try and see if he’s really serious about wanting to work on the relationship. Or you can say “nah,” and not waste your time on someone you know isn’t going to make an effort.
Or, in the slightly more depressing scenario, he might not chase you at all. He might cut his losses and not fight for you back. And in those cases, you can be 110% sure you made the right decision.
Because the point of this bold move isn’t to spark some change within the guy, but within yourself. Recognizing that you deserve to be treated with respect and love can spark a new perspective in what you will and won’t accept.
It doesn’t matter if he fights for you. It only matters if you’re fighting for yourself.