7 Women Share Their RIDICULOUS Thoughts When They First Saw A Penis

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Women Share Ridiculous Thoughts They Had First Time They Saw Penis

"Why is it so floppy?"

All of us are dealing with pretty unchartered territory the first time we see someone other than us naked. And if it's someone of the opposite sex, it can feel like exploring a foreign nation, where everyone speaks a very different language and has an incredibly different culture.

Of course, you may have had a few first times. Seeing an uncircumcised versus circumcised penis are two very different experiences. And knowing that thing is going to go inside of you can kind of make you question everything about sex, no matter what kind of sex you are having. 

Lets be real: Penises are odd-looking even when you are used to them. And whether you were coming face to face or looking down, you probably were perplexed by the whole thing. We asked some women how they felt the first time they saw a penis. It's pretty hilarious, and very relatable.

1. "Why is it so floppy?"

"A penis is a waste of skin, because whoever it's attached to is the important thing. But why is it so floppy? Why does it feel like a bunch of stress ballsformed into a flesh tube? What happened with your balls, because they feel cold? These shouldn't be on any human. When you orgasm, why do they recede into your body? I'm fascinated at how vaginas look like flowers and then dicks just look like someone tried to make a tower out of sand at the beach and all they had was their hands." —Shelly

2. "It felt like those toys where, if you squeeze too hard, you can't hold onto the toy."

"The first penis I ever touched was HUGE. I was so overwhelmed by it. I'm pretty positive that to this day, it's still the biggest one I've ever seen in my life. We never had sex, but I gave my first 'hand job' and I couldn't help but think that it felt like those toys where, if you squeeze too hard, you can't hold onto the toy." —Lindsay

3. "It looks like a turtle."

"I don't remember what I thought when I saw my first penis because that was almost 20 years ago. But when I first saw an uncircumcised penis I laughed and stared at it... all during sexy time. I think I even cracked a joke. The next day, I told my friend and described it as looking like a sleeve when you pull your hand all the way in, flappy at the top. Kind of like a turtle." —Alyssa

4. "Awwww. It looks just like E.T."

"The first time a saw a penis was in the early 80s. I was in the 8th grade and the movie E.T. was big. I was alone with my much older boyfriend and finally saw it. The first thing I said was, 'Aww! He looks just like ET.' True story." —Mary

5. "That's it? What's the big deal?"

"I was a young teenager when my first boyfriend and I started fooling around. The idea of a penis was a mystery to me. I'd seen it in medical books and sex-ed books, but I didn't really know what to expect, although I did expect it to be awesome. When I actually saw it, I thought, 'That's it? What's the big deal?' Then I thought it looked like some weird snake-like creature, and it kinda grossed me out." —Amy

6. "I yanked it so hard it almost came off."

"The first time I noticed a penis I was little. My brother (who is a year older than me) and I would take baths together. I thought my brother was hurt because it was just hanging there, so I pulled it, trying to get it off of him. He screamed, my mom came running in, and that was the last time we took a bath together." —Sandy

7. "How will that ugly thing make me feel good?"

"I remember thinking, 'Wait, that's it? Shouldn't it be longer? Also how will that ugly thing make me feel good?'" —Brianna 



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