Mmmm, smells like chicken.
Yes, that's right, that KFC. The nation's purveyors fine fried chicken and mashed potatoes that are both insanely delicious AND can double as spackle in a pinch.
For a very limited time KFC released a line of extra-crispy scented sunscreen. Yup. Keep cancer at bay, rock a healthy glow, and offend every vegan in a 100 foot radius. What is not to love?!
Is this new chicken scented sunscreen a marketing ploy? Oh very much so. All you have to do is watch the commercial for the stuff they aired on Twitter and that becomes immediately clear. I mean, they hired notoriously tanned person George Hamilton to play the Colonel for pluck's sake (lol lol lol guys that is the funniest thing I have ever written maybe).
We made a sunscreen and it's free* and it smells like fried chicken and fried chicken smells delicious.https://t.co/fdqaJWcnpY
— KFC (@kfc) August 22, 2016
But just because it's a marketing ploy, that doesn't mean it's not a real product.
KFC had 3,000 bottles cooked up of their extra-crispy sunscreen and they're already gone! I can't say "sold out", because the sunscreen was being given away for free, as all chicken-scented products we slather upon our bodies should be. I supposed instead of slather, baste would really be the more appropriate verb here. God I am having too much with this.
As hilarious and grotesque as this stuff is, it's kind of dope that KFC is getting in on skin protection. The stuff has a nice SPF, and now more than ever it's so important to keep your skin safe when you go out of doors.
I'm a person with very fair skin and as a youth I was pretty damn lazy about sunscreen. Now if you see me at the beach I will most likely be wearing a garment I call my "beach robe" while hiding beneath a massive hat and sunglasses. Don't get me wrong, I love a little visit to my dermatologist for the odd chemical peel, but for suspicious mole removal? Yeah, not so much.
Folks who were lucky enough to get their hands on this pungently poultry-scented poultice (that's a bit much, but I'm keeping it in) have hopefully already stocked up on sunscreen for the rest of the summer and all that time they'll be logging at the beach. That's because KFC is estimating about eight weeks delivery time for their very special sunscreen. So, if you or someone you know is going as a chicken for Halloween and plans on going door to door at high noon because they are afraid of the dark, they're in luck!