Rush Limbaugh's Greatest Fear Is Apparently Lesbian Farmers (WTF?)

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He makes Trump seem progressive.

Guys, remember Rush Limbaugh? He's that crazed conservative radio shock joke from days of yore. It's funny now that Donald Trump's an actual candidate for the presidency, ol' Rush seems practically palatable. 

While minimizing the amount of time Limbaugh gets in the limelight is maybe the only thing I'd ever thank Donald Trump for, even that he failed at doing completely. 


Rush Limbaugh has made headlines this week because of some of the fresh bile and hate speech he decided to unleash upon his listeners. Who made the mistake of existing and thus being forced into Rush Limaugh's cross hairs? Why, lesbians. Oh no don't get wrong, Rush has never liked lesbians before, but now his hate is becoming niche. 

On air this week Limbaugh started talking specifically about his panic over lesbians from rural states. Oh no! Run for your lives! The lesbians are here, and I think they brought a very nice hostess gift! 

In addition to being a homophobe, it is apparent that Limbaugh has a little bit of trouble when it comes to basic reading comprehension. Here's what went wrong: Limbaugh went on air and said “Have you heard about the Agriculture Department’s financial grants to lesbian farmers?" This bit of nonsense came when the civil rights program at the U.S. Department of Agriculture hosted the 15th Annual Nationwide LGBT Rural Summit. 


It's a pretty big leap Limbaugh's making, but I feel him: after all, isn't wearing flannel kind of a cliche at this point? And aren't farmers required to do just that? I kid, I kid. It's not only ignorant and offensive that Rush Limbaugh is so homophobic that he fears a lesbian invasion, but that he is so out of touch that he thinks there is only one kind of lesbian ... the kind who farms.

I want you to know that at least four of my lesbian friends would be outraged if I told them we were going camping, let alone about to live as legit farmers, so to say that all lesbians enjoy time hoeing fields permanently is utterly clueless. 

Here's what Limbaugh needs to know: The only thing all lesbians have in common is that they are all attracted to other women.

I think even if lesbians did rise up and try to plan an uprising it would fail due to infighting — BECAUSE BEING A LESBIAN IS NOT ENOUGH TO BAND THOUSANDS OF WOMEN TOGETHER TO GO AND INVADE A FARM FOR NO REASON. 

But I will admit that now I want to go start a pansexual farm retreat. For this whim I hold Rush Limbaugh entirely responsible. 

Lesbian hillbillies, unite!


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