He could still be your soulmate.
By Arielle Ford and Dorothy Camp and melanie and Foojan Zeine and Rhoberta Shaler, PhD and Renee Jain and Arielle Ford — Written on Sep 12, 2016
Do you ever look at couples and wonder how the heck they are still together? How can they profess to be soul mates when from your perspective their relationship appears to be so dysfunctional? What keeps them attracted to each other?
Maybe you’re in your OWN relationship with someone that baffles your friends and families. It can happen. There are couples who have been together for what seems like forever who swear they'll never split up — regardless of their incompatibility. Those couples may argue and fight continually, but something exists between them that just can't be explained.
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You COULD be attracted to each other because you grew up witnessing (and maybe participating in) lots of loud arguing and fighting followed by tender reconciliations. On the flip side, you may feel comfort with someone who is quiet and has a chilly exterior because that is what you were accustomed to in your childhood.
Or maybe you are just very adept at detaching yourself from his repeated periods of bad behavior, having expertly learned how to establish effective boundaries.
Either way, you’ve learned how to make it WORK ... because you truly love him. And to you, love conquers ALL.
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But it's important to know when you're in a relationship that can work, or whether you're in a self-destructive one where he is a narcissist and you are co-dependent. If you’re in love with someone, but you're miserable, it's time to take a step back to really give it some deeper thought.
Our YourTango Experts panel debate this concept in great detail in our informative video. Melanie Gorman (YourTango Experts Senior VP) leads the discussion and gets a variety of interesting inputs from author Areille Ford, marriage and family therapist Dr. Foojan Zeine, marriage and couples counselor Rhoberta Shaler and life coach Renee Jain.
These experts have so much more to offer on this and other relationship topics. Please visit their websites to learn more after watching the video, or contact Arielle, Foojan, Rhoberta or Renee directly.
