It’s time we all got real.
I’ll be the first to say that dating can be really stupid. Hardly anybody knows what they really want, and even if we do, nine out of ten times we’re way too cool to admit it.
Miscommunication is the common dominator in all failed relationship attempts. The guy you’re talking to is only in town for two weeks and not looking for anything serious, but you see the difficult situation as a basis of a Nicholas Sparks book.
He wants one thing. You want another.
But nobody says a word.
I think a big issue with us ladies (yes it’s partly our fault), is that we don’t say what we want or don’t want from the get go. As our kindergarten teachers taught us, honesty is the best policy and pretending like you’re “cool with whatever,” will get you, well, whatever.
If you want to keep things light and casual, say so. Make it loud and clear. Wear it on t-shirt, do some sky writing, whatever it is necessary so your general pool of potential suitors are well aware.
Same thing goes if you want a relationship. Don’t be afraid to say it. I mean, make sure you like the guy first (my general rule is to hang out with them at least five or so times before making a decision), but don’t be afraid of scaring someone away.
A guy who likes you and wants the same things as you will not be afraid of your honesty.
In fact, he will probably be grateful that you cleared up any question marks that would just leave him guessing.
Guys don’t want to guess. They want to know.
And if the guy you’re talking to suddenly stops responding after you’ve let him know what’s up, then he let you know what’s up. He’s not on the same page and isn’t looking for a relationship. It doesn’t have much to do with you really, he’s just not feeling anything serious at the moment.
Be grateful the ones who don’t want to commit don’t stay because it opens you up to finding a guy who is ready for a relationship.
Let me tell you, it’s much easier to be happy when you’re single than when you’re forcing a guy into something he doesn’t want.