It's not as simple as it first may seem...
This relationship can be tricky to navigate, but also SO fulfilling if you do it right. Take it from someone who knows!
So what even makes a relationship solely friends with benefits? Being two friends, who get along, and love having sex with each other. It's not casual sex that evolves into a relationship, it's not ex-sex, it's not a romantic comedy. It's a friendly way of scratching an itch while you figure out what you want and need from a long term relationship.
If you're on the fence about whether or not having a friend with benefits is for you, here are five questions you need to ask yourself.
1. Can you communicate clearly?
When you start a friends with benefits relationship with someone, it's crucial that you both are able to communicate clearly.
Before you jump into bed make sure you both know what's going on. You need to take care of each other, even if you aren't going to become romantically involved. Make sure you both know what's on the table, and establish rules for the relationship. That way everyone will walk away happy.
2. Are you sure you don't want anything more from this friend?
Before you have sex with your new friend with benefits, make sure to ask yourself what you REALLY want from this person.
If you think there's a romantic future with them, back away from this kind of relationship and make your real feelings known. A friends with benefits situation at its most practical is not one that evolves into something more.
If you like-like the person you're considered this relationship with, take a step back and protect your heart.
3. Can you make time for this relationship without giving up dating?
A friends with benefits relationship is not designed to replace dating, it's designed to fulfill a basic sexual need.
If you are so busy that you find it hard to find time to even bump uglies with your friend with benefits then you might want to reconsider this relationship, especially if dating is important to you. A friend with benefit relationship should enhance your love life, not detract from it.
4. Are you going to expect emotional support from this friend?
Be as honest as possible about what you are going to expect from your friend with benefits. It's normal and natural to expect support from a friend, but this isn't your average friendship.
If you feel moved to call him after you've had a shitty day, try and check that impulse — this is what the friends you aren't fucking are for.
Of course you can have a relationship with your friend wth benefits, but clear boundaries are so so so important.
5. Is your history with this friend rocky or complicated?
If you two have hooked up in the past, or one of you has had feelings, or your relationship as friends has been fraught, do not get yourself into a friends with benefits situation with this person.
Sure, the conflict and drama might make the whole thing seem THAT much sexier, but as I mentioned above, boundaries in this kind of relationship are critical.
You don't need drama blurring those lines.