Becoming A Swinger Made Me (And My Marriage) Happier Than Ever

Were you the nerdy, introverted guy in high school, whose dreams of hot sex with a horny girl were shut down by the harsh realities of your school’s rigid social structure?

Were you the shy girl who was pretty but made to feel insecure by the barrage of unhealthy image expectations?

Well, step right up and enter the swinger lifestyle — where your long-standing esteem issues and distorted self-image will end up on the floor of a strange bedroom, lost amid the used condom wrappers and empty water bottles.

A man you had never met before tonight just kissed you all over your body, slow and sensual, and unwrapped your insanely sexy new dress from your curvy, soft form like he was opening the greatest present any man has ever received.

Guess what? You are that sexy, just like your husband has been telling you all these years.

A woman you’ve gotten to play with a few times now comes up and kisses you passionately, knowing you’re with someone else tonight and she’s not going to see you for a few more weeks, but telling you with that kiss that the next time she does get to play with you that she’s going to rock your world.

Hey, guess what? You’re a stud now. Why else do you think that sex with your wife has never been better? She sees it too.

Doesn’t it feel liberating to walk around that house party completely naked and comfortable, losing count of the number of men and women who want you to stop for a second so they can appreciate your breasts and smile at you knowingly? And to see all of those fears you'd had that everything outside of monogamy was anarchy, and venturing there would destroy everything the two of you have built, washed away in the raging fury of a hot tub overflowing with naked friends?

Welcome to your new life, where your quirky, imperfect self looks stunning in that naughty nurse outfit you bought for Halloween (but may break out sometime earlier when hubby has a cold).

Embrace the fact that, well yes, you actually did just make that sexy MILF explode in orgasmic ecstasy while she was riding you on a bed in a crowded, open play area.

And everyone heard her.

You’ve made a whole new bunch of friends with lives just like yours — full of work, kids, stress, and family.

Men and women who now know you better than any of your vanilla acquaintances, not only because they’ve seen you naked, but as a result of the trusting, intimate friendship you’ve all built together.

You high-five your guy friends in the lifestyle and raise a toast to how hot your wives are together in bed — and that you’re lucky enough to be there to see it. The ladies aren’t competitive and catty, just fun and flirty, sharing toy preferences and shaving tips like some sort of sexually charged book club.

Best of all — you’ve come to this new place in your life with humility and grace.

You’re walking a line between actually believing you really are as sexy as everyone’s telling you that you are and staying just insecure enough to not become a vain or arrogant drag to be around.

The lifestyle isn’t easy sometimes, but you’ve endured all of its perils and come out on top.

You’re more secure in yourself and your marriage than you’ve ever been. You take better care of yourself than you ever have. And you feel young and vibrant again.

This crazy sexual adventure called "the lifestyle" — an exploration of yourself as well as others — has allowed the sexy woman or the studly dude you’ve always hoped was inside you to emerge and strut its stuff.

Now get out there and own it.

Listen now: Aren’t vacations great? But you know what’s better? SEXY VACATIONS. The kind where you can be naked and flirt all day and have sex all night. For those who’ve never been on one, they can also be intimidating and scary. For our ninth Swinging for Beginners episode, we, enthusiastic advocates of the sexy vacation, share what we have learned so that your next sexy vacation is everything you want it to be and more.

This article was originally published at Life on the Swingset. Reprinted with permission from the author.