Photo: Viceland
*starts screaming never stops*
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Aug 11, 2016
While the term "boner" is simple a euphemism, it turns out a man can, in fact, break his penis.
Just ask former basketball star Dennis Rodman.
This guy has broken his penis three times.
THREE. TIMES.
That is roughly, in my humble estimation, three times too many.
In classic Rodman form, the dude had zero issue opening up about all three incidents:
Penis break #1
"Me and my girlfriend, we were on the back of the boat in a king size bed and she said 'I think I'm going to try something different. She told me to walk over there and told me to run and jump in her p*ssy."
Famous last words: Run and jump in my p*ssy. Still, pretty baller move to agree and try it.
Rodman went running and when he landed he said heard a crunch and saw blood everywhere.
Needless to say, his girlfriend was fit to be tied.
"Oh my God, he is dead, he is dead. I have killed him," recounts Rodman. "And then I was like, no honey. I just broke my dick."
Alas, it seems Mr. Rodman's horrific stories of lovin' gone awry had only just begun.
Penis break #2
The second encounter was with another girlfriend. He doesn't mention any vagina-jumping in this account so hopefully he learned some sort of lesson.
It wasn't enough to protect his poor peen.
This time the couple was having sex doggy style.
When his partner began to shove her full weight back on his penis with all of her might it was more than his more dick could handle.
Snap, crackle, pop went the dong.
According to Rodman there was blood everywhere and his girlfriend was in hysterics. He doesn't mention how he responded, but once can imagine it was not with such laissez faire.
Penis break #3
Rodman was actually threatened with blackmail the third time he broke his penis!
After a romantic evening in a hotel room in New York ended with a busted penis, Rodman and his girlfriend went to the ER where his diagnosis was confirmed: Contused penis.
It didn't stop there. The doctors were so star struck that Rodman says at least eight doctors came to give "second opinions."
The next day a nurse called his girlfriend and asked for $25,000 or she would release the X-rays of Rodman's broken rod. It is not surprising that the dude was all "do it, you think I care?"
I guess that's one perk to having your penis repeatedly broken, it takes a lot to scare you once you've heard that awful crack.
I have absolutely no penis to speak of, and even I'm cringing right now. Dude it sounds like the guy needs to take sex-having lessons or else risk losing his donger forever.
