Now THIS is a game night we can get behind.
Here are five D.I.Y. ideas for playing together… it’s like foreplay, except with dice!
1. Spin the Sex Manual
Grab a couple pairs of dice, toss them at the same time, whatever number you get total, go to that page in a sex manual and try out whatever’s on that page. Our two latest books work particularly well for this: SEX: How to Do Everything and, for the really adventurous, 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink.
This will take the element of control away from the two of you, so neither of you needs to feel coy or embarrassed about making new suggestions.
2. Sexy Simon Says
Take it in turns being “Simon.” When it’s your turn, tell your partner things you’d like them to do to you — or to themselves. “Simon says kiss my neck”; “Simon says take off your pants“; etc; The first person to mess up — i.e. moving without hearing “Simon Says” first — has to massage their partner for 15 minutes. (Or whatever “punishment” you decide on… perhaps you favor something a little more Christian Grey!)
This game is awesome for the same reason teachers favor it with little kids: because it forces you to really LISTEN to your partner! Plus, being forced to call out commands really quickly will encourage you to blurt out things you might normally be a bit embarrassed to ask for. In “Simon Says,” you’re MEANT be bossy!
3. Guess the Sensation
One partner is blindfolded and the other partner gathers a selection of potentially sensual items: ice cubes, a feather duster, a clean hairbrush, hand cream, a massage candle (for warm wax). The blindfolded person lies down naked and has to guess what item their partner is using on them. Then switch places!
This will teach you to pay attention to bodily sensations, which is a great way to shut out the outside world and really focus on sexual pleasure.
4. Hand Over the Remote
And no, we’re not talking about the remote control for your television. Invest in a small, discreet, high quality remote-controlled vibrator (we like LELO’s Lyla 2). Then hit the town with one of you secretly wearing the strategically placed toy and your partner tucking the wireless control in their pocket. That way you can get some sensual kicks anytime, anywhere — you being at your partner’s mercy is all part of the fun!
5. Sexy Task Box
This is a game that can begin one evening and last all year long. Each person in the couple writes down on a little piece of paper 5, 10, or 15 things they’d like to try (this could be as simple as, “kiss with tongue for 5 full minutes with no expectation of sex,” or more daring, like, “let me tie you up and blindfold you”).
Fold them up, throw them in a hat or box, and then set up a schedule — every day for a month, or once a week for an indefinite amount of time, or whatever you’re comfortable with. Then on your allotted days, take turns pulling out a slip of paper in the morning with the understanding that you’ll have to complete the sex task before you go to sleep that night.
This will encourage you to try new things, help you fulfill each other’s fantasies, and get you thinking about sex all day long, i.e. extended foreplay!
Here are the ground rules: both people must approach things with an open mind, there can be no derisive laughing at anyone’s suggestions, and both parties have full veto power over anything they’re truly uncomfortable with.
This article was originally published at Em & Lo. Reprinted with permission from the author.