Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

The REAL Difference Between Love And Sex

Love, Sex

They don't always go together. And that's OK.

What's the difference between love and sex? I’ll be honest, when I first read this question, I wondered, "Who doesn’t understand the difference between sex and love?" Sure, my knee-jerk reaction was a bit arrogant with black and white pre-programmed responses firing off in my head. Sex is physical and love is emotional. Right?

I really had to stew on this question for several days before my analytical brain relinquished its control and gave way to more open minded and reflective consideration of the concept that love and sex aren't so black and white after all.

I started thinking about how sex and love applied to my past relationships. How did I feel about my sexuality and my love for myself? I especially considered how love and sex inter-played in my marriage to my late husband as well as in my other intimate relationships.

I, like most of us, have fallen under the spell of hot chemistry. That spark mixed with extreme loneliness and grief definitely distorted my brain and generated feelings in me that I would have SWORN were love. So in that realization, I am humbled and admit that the answer to this question is not so clear-cut.

You can have sex without love, no doubt, but the two together are supreme bliss. That physical, emotional and spiritual merging at the very core of our being is something I think we all deeply long for.


If you’ve ever grappled with this question — or, if you’re like me and thought you had all the answers — watch this video (several times). Your ideas of sex and love will be expanded and you’re sure to learn something new from the perspectives of our YourTango Experts panel.

Melanie Gorman (YourTango Experts Senior VP) is joined by author John Gray, relationship coach Ravid Yosef, psychic/medium Bee Herz and sex coach Lauren Brim. These professionals bring a broad range of enlightening perspectives to this provocative — and often times misunderstood — question.

If you have more question on this or other relationship issues, please visit the websites of John, Ravid, Bee and Lauren for more information or to contact them personally.



Explore YourTango