Because ball sweat spares no one. Except like, people without balls.
Men sweat, women glow. That's what they say, right?
If I'm going to buy into any sexist notions, let that be one of them (just don't tell that to that river pouring down my back into my butt crack).
As a woman, I am deeply grateful that I will never have to experience the joys of penis and ball sweat first hand. Yep. That is a thought I just expressed on the internet. It's true, there's no turning back now.
For all the benefits having a penis brings with it (the ability to pee wherever whenever and also to rule the free world), the idea of having to constantly be mopping up penis and ball sweat seems like a pretty hefty negative.
The guys in my life don't talk about ball sweat that much, but they do often fret about the comfortable level of their pork and beans.
I cannot tell you the amount of conversations dedicated to which kind of underwear is superior I have been forced into listening to. And by "forced" I mean, very much enjoyed, yes thank you.
Fusing the word napkins and nads, these wipes are like hand wipes only designed to scrub up a dude's balls.
If the commercials are anything to go buy, they work so well his junk might just start whistling:
I suggest immediately subscribing your man to the monthly delivery program.
The wipes contain Vitamin E (which Khloe Kardashian thinks you should be smearing on your vagina, so what's good for the goose, etc, I guess) and aloe vera. So natural! So refreshing!
I have to say, it's refreshing in other ways too.
Like, how long have women been shamed for smelly vaginas and had products foisted on us that we don't need by advertisers? Answer: since forever.
DO our vaginas sweat? Sure. But they are also self-cleaning, something a penis SO is not. It's about time we started publicly shaming dudes for being totally disgusting.
Don't get me wrong. I love the penis. It is a grand and splendid thing. I have been known to coo when I spot one I particularly admire. But they are dirty little buggers, just like the dudes who own them. Thank goodness Nadkins has arrived.