Why You Should Stop Trying To Find Someone Better Than Your Ex

Photo: WeHeartIt

Comparing will get you nowhere

We all want to upgrade —especially when it comes to our love life.

After the sting of heartbreak wears off, and you start to really get into the swing of being single, there’s a tendency to want more than what you’ve had.

You make lists of all the things your ex never did or the qualities about him you were never really into. You dream up this ideal man (who, spoiler alert, doesn’t exist), and don’t give a second thought to any guy who doesn’t meet 100% of your standards.

At first, you might think this behavior is good, strong and should be respected. You’re finally taking yourself seriously. You deserve the best, right? So why settle for anything but?

The thing about “the best,” is that you can’t really define it. You can’t create your perfect guy on paper and wait for the real thing to walk through the door. Believing that there’s someone out there who will be everything you want and more is silly and unrealistic. We’re all people with flaws, quirks and receding hairlines.

Nobody is perfect.


Love is about making an effort, and that’s true whether you’re in a relationship or so single it hurts.

You have to try to see the good, and you can’t use your “strong bitch status” as excuse to hold back. 

We’re all afraid of getting hurt and getting attached. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t even give the guy who might not be as successful as you’d like a chance. I’m not saying you should tolerate bad behavior or disrespect — because you never, ever should — but I am saying that you should tear up that laundry list of a dream man qualities and throw it away forever.

You have a strong gut, and you’ll be able to tell when someone is right or wrong for you. Sometimes you figure it out right away and you can move on, and other times it takes awhile to really know.

Don’t be single and bitter and treat every guy who isn’t Channing Tatum like garbage. Take a chill pill, get off your high horse and give love a shot.

You’ll miss a few times, and maybe even get some scratches in the process, but in the end, it’s worth it.

It’s always worth it.




Explore YourTango