Photo: DK Donuts
You can even order them online for those nights when your mouth is lonely.
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Aug 04, 2016
Penis food stuffs are having a moment.
I mean, first there were those nutella-filled penis cakes on a stick, then the penis latte art explosion (lol) took off, it leaves a person wondering is any culinary space safe from the jaunty hello of a penis?
Apparently not.
Ladies and gentlemen, behold: Penis donuts.
These erect confections are the brain (get it? Like scrotum sack) child of the bakers at DK's Donuts.
This L.A. based donutery has been legendary since it first open its doors 35 years ago. Craving a donut at 3am? They've got you covered, they're open 24/7.
It's a good thing I live in New York otherwise my ass would be increasing nightly thanks to the delicious treats they whip up.
Oh shit. I just realized that they ship. Click away, little Becca, click away.
While DK's sells 120 different types of donuts, you won't find these eager (to get into a) beaver donuts waiting when you arrive.
Their penis donuts are by special order only.
So if you want to chomp on a cock and balls on a whim, you are SOL.
The donuts are popular with bachelorette parties, obviously, but I'm thinking it's time we made these bad boys go mainstream.
What better way to spice up your weekly staff meeting than by serving dick donuts designed in the manner of your choosing?
Just picture it. Your boss will be like "Jenkins, your numbers last week were lower than predicted, ergo you've got split a dick with O'Malley whose numbers also failed to perform. Gentlemen, gobble that cock."
If you're a size queen you'll be pleased to know that they serve a "Texas" version in addition to their standard size donut. You know what they say about penis donuts! Once you pop the fun don't stop. I mean, technically, that is the Pringles motto, but the principle is the same.
DK's was quick to let me know if you want to send a friend a bunch of dick donuts on say, the anniversary of the death of her beloved pet schnauzer Mr. Noodles, you can do that with ease, all you got to do is hit them up with an email.
Nothing says "you're in my thoughts" like a cream-filled penis donut sprinkled with Fruit Loops.
