Photo: WeHeartIt
But we're still not settling.
By Emily Blackwood — Written on Aug 02, 2016
Ideally, we’d all love to marry a hero. But as far I as know, Prince Charming and Superman don’t have active Tinder accounts, so you’d have to come under some serious life-or-death distress in order to get their attention.
Even though we all know the guy from the movies isn’t anything like the guys in real life, we still on some superficial level want them to be. And while this is a totally normal symptom of just being a human woman with feelings and desires, its time to let that habit go.
Because on a less superficial level, it means that we’re just doing the bare minimum to be okay by ourselves until someone with pretty eyes and huge biceps comes along to rescue us and give us all the validation and love we’ll ever need.
It’s an excuse for not doing the real work it takes to be fully happy and secure all on your own.
Once you’ve achieved that — or are at least more aware of it — then you have lower expectations when it comes to relationships and men and in turn, can enjoy both a lot more.
Humans should never rely on other humans for happiness (or to save us from anything).
There are times where people in your life will come through and do just that, but there are also times where they don’t. Usually you’re left to your own defenses, and you need to learn just how to defend.
When you figure out your personal magical formula for how to be happy on your own, you let everyone else off the hook.
You stop waiting on people to romance or excite you. You learn how to love and appreciate everyone for exactly who they are, not who you want them to be. You get more out of your friendships and relationships when you’re not constantly asking for more.
This doesn’t mean you should settle for a bad relationship or accept disrespectful behavior. One fun benefit of being completely self-sufficient is that you can be completely content being single, and are not afraid to leave a situation that isn’t benefitting you in any way.
What it does mean, however, is that you shouldn’t force your boyfriend to go hiking if he hates being outside. Instead, you should appreciate all the things you like to do inside with him, and find someone else (or try solo hiking, safely please) to go on outdoorsy adventures with.
Also by not getting hung up on the petty things and letting them interfere with your happiness, you have a chance to see the relationship more clearly and can figure out when things aren’t working.
Smart women can be happy and fulfilled all on their own.
Having low expectations makes you happy with things as they are, and gives you the opportunity to be happily surprised when your expectations are succeeded.
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