Photo: Getty Images
Don't waste your time.
By Emily Blackwood — Written on Jun 06, 2022
Social media has made dating — which was already confusing enough as it is — nearly impossible to decipher/make it out of alive.
I sadly didn’t grow up in the age before follows and likes, so I have no idea what getting into a relationship was like without posting a photo of it first. But like all things compared to our current state of dating, it was probably better.
It’s almost like our continuous progression into technology is just giving us more and more avenues to send mixed signals and never let the other person know how we really feel.
We ghost people and then like their new profile photo a week later. We tell them how much we like them and then never look at their Snapchat stories. Social media gives us literally 15 million ways to confuse the hell out of someone we’re talking to.
And while I can’t give solid advice on things like “What do I do if a guy keeps poking me but doesn’t answer my texts” or "How to deal with a guy who sends you a relationship request before your third date" (both of which have happened to me or a “friend”), I can help connect the dots between the golden rule of dating and social media disasters.
If a guy really likes you, he’ll make sure you know.
This could be applied to almost every single one of your app mishaps because it boils down to the basic idea that if a guy does anything to contradict the fact that he likes you, he probably doesn’t like you.
One of the best examples of this I can give is when he doesn’t follow you or add you on any social media.
I once was talking to (aka slightly sleeping with) a guy who I really liked and who told me he felt the same. We texted all the time, and for the first week or so everything seemed to be leading in a really good direction.
Until my friend asked to see a picture of him, and I realized I didn’t have him on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Gmail, Snapchat, or even Words With Friends.
“So what,” I half-heartedly told myself. “He’s probably one of those really cool off-the-grid guys who doesn’t believe in social media. He probably like, lives in a cabin and reads Ralph Waldo Emerson over candlelight.”
Wrong. After just a few seconds of searching, I discovered he was very much on the grid, just not on mine.
My female friends, who love me so much they want to protect me from the truth, told me it didn’t mean anything and I shouldn’t worry about it. He would add me eventually! He just hasn’t gotten around to it. He’s probably sooooooo busy.
Wrong again. He never added me. And even despite that huge red flag waving in my face, I was so convinced it meant nothing that when our fling fizzled out I was left blindsided and very confused.
If a guy likes you, there’s a pretty good chance he’s going to want to see more of you, yes?
He’s going to follow you on Instagram and like pictures of your cat and tag you in funny videos.
When your relationship moves forward, so will your “liking” habits, and you’ll never have to wonder what he’s really thinking.
And if you’re concerned that the guy who isn’t interacting with you online is just playing hard to get, then stop and walk away.
Because you don’t want to be with someone who plays games and makes you jump through hoops to get them to like you.
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Emily Blackwood is a writer and editor who covers all things news, pop culture, and true crime.