Don't you dare lose yourself.
And while it's normal to go bonkers every now and then, if the crazy is consistent, that means something is very, very wrong. Usually, it's a sign that at least one of the partners is suffering from a personality disorder, like narcissism.
We love to throw around the word narcissist to describe our hated exes and mean bosses, but the reality of it is much more severe and dangerous than someone who's just acting like a dick.
Narcissists can make you doubt everything you thought you knew about yourself, and in turn, make you feel totally batshit crazy.
Being with someone who feeds off power and control can put you in a very vulnerable place. People with this kind of personality disorder subtlety chip away at your self confidence as a way to make you feel like you need them to be okay. Making it a lot harder to want to leave.
And once you realize what they're doing to you, and try to cast a light on their behavior, they can suddenly turn the tables and make you feel like it was all your fault.
Here's a quick example. You see on his phone the same girl's name popping up on his Snapchat. You confront him about it, and tell him that you think he's cheating on your or at the very least crossing a line. He gets angry/sad/whatever emotion he knows triggers you, and accuses you of snooping because you feel insecure about yourself or the relationship.
Suddenly you're the one crying and apologizing even though you've done nothing wrong.
If you're experiencing this kind of personality disorder in your relationship, then you need to leave. Get out. Get away. Don't look back.
I never want to say all is lost, because each individual situation is different, but when you feel like you're losing your sense of self, the only way to get it back is to be alone for a little bit.
Take your time coming home to yourself. You don't have to explain or prove anything to anyone. Navigating romantic relationships is difficult enough as it is, but it's nearly impossible if you're not confident in your own guidance.
You have to be able to trust yourself, and anyone who takes that away from you does not deserve a place in your life.