Heartbreak, Sex

Just Because He's Doing You Doesn't Mean He Wants To BE With You

Photo: WeHeartIt
shocked woman

Men are horny creatures, and that means they want to screw everything that moves. Back in the times of yore, a man who slept with a woman was expected to marry her  or at least pay her.

The consequences of not marrying a woman would have easily made a gentleman get kicked out of social circles, or worse. If you were a lady, sleeping with a man was somewhat of a guarantee that he would have had a relationship with you. This was, in fact, the only thing that kept a lot of men from acting like the simple horny creatures they are.

However, it's 2016 and I have bad news for you. Society has changed, but guys basically remained the same. This means that guys are fine with sleeping with girls they have no interest in dating. It also means that women are learning a couple of lessons the hard way.

Allow me to break it down for you all.

1. Standards are different for sex and dating.


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Most men and most women are very different when it comes to the way they view sex. Women typically wouldn't sleep with someone who they wouldn't consider attractive enough to date or be seen with. Men, on the other hand, don't really care about looks as much as they say they do when it comes to just getting laid.

When it comes to dating, men want even more in terms of looks and personality. This means that a girl can be likable enough to screw, but not enough to date. Similarly, guys can deem a girl likeable enough to date, but not to marry.

Brutal? Absolutely. True? Sadly, yes.

2. You can't always change a guy's mind about you, either.


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The vast majority of men will not reconsider a girl once he's decided she's not the one. In the vast majority of cases, trying to convince him to date you based on how good the sex is won't work. Even if it does work, do you really want to win over a man this way? It's often way better to just let him do the pursuing.

3. You can always walk if you feel like a guy isn't serious enough for your taste.


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At certain times, walking or even pulling away can also make a guy realize you're worth more than just a fling. Most guys also will be very upfront about what they want, or at least give you good clues about where you stand. If you notice that he's noncommittal, doesn't really put you first, or just straight up tells you that he's only looking for a fling, you know what's up.

4. If you're a side chick, you ought to know where you stand by now.


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If he's willing to sleep with you, but not willing to make you his main girl, that's because he doesn't care about you. When he's telling his wife or girlfriend that you were "just sex," that's literally how he viewed your relationship. If you knew he was taken and still went after him, you have no one to blame for your heartbreak but yourself.