Tell 'em how you really feel.
I was in third grade when I flipped my first bird.
Truthfully, I had no idea what it really meant, and only began flexing that muscle in secret because I had seen some older kids do it. My mom, being the watchdog that she is, caught me red handed, and I was grounded for the weekend. I'm sad to say that that was probably the most rebelling I ever did.
Now flipping people off is something I do without shame, and usually to my friends. While I may or may not be guilty of angrily throwing the finger when my ex-boyfriend isn't looking, this gesture is give more out of fun and less out of spite.
Regardless, it's the cutest way to tell someone to fuck off.
A few weeks ago, I tried flipping someone off, and they started laughing. They told me that my bird was weak and not intimidating, like most things I do.
Frustrated, I started to question how I'd ever silently tell someone to beat it if my middle finger game was well below average.
Until I found this glorious work of art:
Finally, I don't have to say anything. This middle finger candle says it all.
Brooklyn-based Japanese artist Nao Matsumoto created the candle for Spoon & Tamago after a scary accident almost left him to live life without the ability to flip someone off.
When he nearly sliced off his middle finger while cutting wood in his studio, he realized that using your middle finger is a basic human right, and compared it to that of losing his own voice.
With a newfound appreciation for his bird, he created a series of middle finger candles. Each candle is hand-made by Matsumoto himself and comes from a mold made from his own hand.
And though the candles were originally used for a much more important purpose — to protest the use of nuclear energy in Japan on the anniversary of the March 2011 tsunami — they'll be perfect to use for life's pettiest situations.
Send one to your ex when he calls you at 3 a.m. for the billionth time or to your boss when you finally found a replacement gig. Give it as a Christmas gift to your annoying aunt who always makes digs about your weight or leave it out in the open in your living room as a subtle reminder for house guests not to stay past their welcome.
One candle serving many, many purposes.