Not everyone has what it takes...
Troubled relationships and marriages aren't easy to deal with, and in most cases, they don't make it through the hard times. In most cases, couples don't have what they need in order to fix all the damage that has been done.
Truthfully, if you don't have the following 10 things, you probably should just cut your losses.
1. A partner who's willing to work on the relationship with you
If your partner is absolutely refusing to do anything about the problem, or if they tend to simply avoid the subject, no amount of work you do will fix the relationship. It takes both partners to make a relationship work. If they're not willing to work on it, your only real option is to walk away.
2. A willingness to compromise
Relationships are all about compromising on wants and needs. If they aren't willing to compromise, it's basically the same thing as refusing to work on the relationship. In the end, it will result in a one-sided uphill battle that shouldn't be fought.
3. A calm demeanor
Flying off the handle the moment a problem is about to be discussed is a surefire way to shut down any progress that you could have made. If you can't both keep calm (for the most part) when talking things out, there's no way to improve things.
4. Making the relationship the main priority
If you want to fix things, your relationship or marriage is going to have to be your number one priority. This means that your in-laws, your jobs, your friends, your drinking, everything else will have to come in second. Not making your relationship a top priority will likely result in one or both of you taking one another for granted yet again.
5. A history of loyalty to one another
Serial cheaters aren't going to change their ways. Don't bother forgiving them.
6. Respect for one another
You can't have love without respect. If you regularly treat one another with contempt, disdain, or a complete lack of respect, the relationship likely ended years ago.
7. An understanding that things take time
A relationship that has gone up in flames isn't going to be fixed within a matter of days. These things take months, or even years. Both partners have to be aware that it will take a lot of time and effort to make things right again. If one wants things fixed immediately, it probably won't work out.
In other words, you still need to hang out with one another and act as a team in order to make things work. If you've "uncoupled," the marriage is typically D.O.A.
If you aren't able to actually tell your partner what you want in an open, honest manner, you can't really work on your problems. How can you improve things when you can't even discuss things with your partner? Without being able to actually talk about everything, there's not much you can do.
Hope is what keeps us all going. If you've lost hope in the relationship, it's time to cut your losses and look for someone who can bring hope back into your life.