Validation addicts are much like narcissists but almost...worse.
Validation is something that we as human beings naturally crave. We want to feel acknowledged, justified, right, or even attractive by others. For some of us, it's just something that gives us the warm fuzzies from time to time. For others, it's an ugly addiction that can wreak havoc on their self-esteem, their sex life, and everything else.
Much like narcissism, validation addicts will turn to just about everyone around them to give them some form of validation, but most often, it's their significant others that have to pay that toll. Unlike narcissism, validation addiction happens primarily because of crippling insecurity.
Validation addicts aren't capable of handling a normal, healthy relationship most of the time, and that means you need to break things off if you see any of these signs.
1. You're obsessed with getting laid, or getting people to express interest in you.
This is your way of getting validation about how attractive you are to the opposite sex. Some might even view getting laid as a way of validating their control over the opposite sex. Either way, a serious sex obsession is often a sign of a validation addict.
2. You need to be constantly reassured.
This can happen with anyone if they are feeling insecure or nervous, but when there's no reason to feel shaky, it's a cause for concern. A person (you) who needs to be constantly reassured often feels like they need to be praised for every little decision they make — a clear sign of a validation addiction.
3. Your favorite subject is how awesome you are.
When you're low on validation supply, you might start talking about how great you are in hopes that others will agree with you.
4. You want to earn a lot of money so people will like you.
Do you get the feeling that the only reason you want to be rich is so you'll be popular? Do you constantly flash cash to impress others? If so, you're probably a validation addict.
5. You namedrop almost constantly.
Validation addicts will do this to show that they associate with people who are already considered to be hot shots in their eyes. If a person is secure with themselves, they won't namedrop nearly as much. After all, confident people won't care if they're in the "in crowd."
6. You tend to befriend people based on their reputation or wealth.
This can be indicative of a number of different things, but it's also a sign that you might have a validation addiction.
7. Your opinions change depending on the company you're in.
Sure, this might be done to keep the peace, but it might also be a sign that you're really desperate to be accepted and validated by the people you're around.
8. You need to control every social situation with an iron fist.
A person who craves validation will want to have every interaction centered around them. You don't want surprises — you want to know the exact outcome of the situation before it happens. This need for control can often be a sign of a serious personality disorder as well as validation addiction, so others should use their best judgement when dealing with you.
9. You often play the victim, even when things aren't bad.
This is both a sign of a histrionic personality and a validation addict. You're looking for both attention and validation that it's "not your fault."
10. If you get rejected, you flip out.
This invalidates you. Need we say any more?
11. You do insane things just so you can be accepted by others.
Validation addiction can lead people down a very dark path. Many drug users, felons, and cult members have gotten into their situations due to their desire to be accepted or highly regarded. If you've been known to take bad risks just to fit in, you can bet you have an addiction to validation.
12. You try wayyyy too hard.
Validation is a helluva drug.
13. You fish for compliments.
It often doesn't get any clearer than this. When you can't seem to get enough validation without going to crazy lengths, you'll often try to fish for compliments.
14. You regularly put others down — particularly others who are liked.
This is a classic sign of a validation addict. After all, you feel like you can rise up above others if the others are pushed down beneath you.
15. You seem to single out friends and partners with serious problems.
You do this because you feel you will get validation easily from people who are in a worse situation than you are. Sadly, until you actually learn how to get serious confidence, this will often be what puts the nails in your relationship coffins.