Waaaaay better than a cup of joe.
I don't ask for a lot in life. To me, being happy means decent parking spaces, scoring designer clothes at Goodwill, good ass coffee and a monthly flow that's chill enough so I don't deck anyone in the face.
While I've gotten lucky at times on the first three, the last one never seems to happen. I don't know what it is about Aunt Flo that makes me so miserable, but it's pretty much a guarantee that I'm spending the majority of her visit sleeping on my living room floor.
Cramps suck, and the moods and sleepiness that comes with it suck even more. Typically I try to ride out the storm in my apartment, away from other people would could easily become victims of my female rage/depression. But sadly, I have to be a responsible, happy person and do things like work, socialize and not commit any violent felonies.
I have a few tools I use to help ease my uterus. Warm baths, wine and poppin' Advil like it's candy usually does the trick to keep me happy and sane, but I think I found another weapon to add the arsenal against my own body: boozey espresso Nutella pops.
While I'm usually against any and all additional work during my period, I'll make an exception so long as it tastes good (and gets me toasty). The recipe, created by the food blog Tasty Ever After, only has four ingredients. Not only is it super simple to make, but it has espresso in it so replacing it with your morning cup of coffee is totally acceptable!!!
Here's what you need:
- Two medium sized ripe bananas
- One cup full fat coconut milk
- One-fourth cup espresso rum liqueur (like Grind Espresso liqueur or Kahlúa)
- One-fourth cup chocolate hazelnut spread
1. Combine all ingredients and process until smooth and creamy using a counter blender, food processor, or an immersion stick blender.
2. Evenly distribute mixture into eight popsicle molds and insert sticks in middle of each.
3. Freeze until firm for at least four hours.
4. Remove by running warm water over the outside of popsicle mold for 30 seconds.
And leftovers will last up to one week covered in freezer, so you just have to make one batch to have a treat every day of your period! Unless you get really terrible cramps like me and might be eating two or three popsicles to make you happy, keep you alert and forget about the horrors of being a woman.
While I'm all for embracing our femininity and loving every part of the process (even the slightly gross ones), I think we can all agree that sometimes our periods suck. And when the cramps hit and you just want to curl up in a ball forever, reaching for a Nutella pop filled with rum might be enough to make you feel like a person again.