What It's REALLY Like To Make Out With A Guy With A Lip Piercing

Photo: Courtesy of the author

It's essentially just a small, hard bit you can feel but ignore after the initial contact.

I tend to do things just for the story. Sometimes it's a big story, sometimes it's an insignificant one, sometimes it's a big thing.

I met Bryan* at a bar about three weeks later. He only had one piercing and I believe my pick-up line went something like this: "Would you mind, terribly, making out with me for a little while? I'm doing some research and your participation is vital." In the interest of science, this good man assisted me in my experiment.

Well, let's just say, I was .... underwhelmed?  It's not like one can incorporate the piercing in the kissing in any way whatsoever. You can kind of wiggle it around with your tongue, but then you realize you're basically licking the person's chin and it spirals you into a weird existential crisis about whether or not you're a good kisser, as you're busy kissing.

It's essentially just a small, hard bit you can feel but tend to ignore after the initial contact.

I chalked up the blah experience to the fact that he had only one lip piercing. Then I threw professionalism out the window and set my sights on my doubly-pierced coworker. As it turns out, two lip piercings are almost exactly the same as one, in that there's nothing much to be done with them.

This isn't meant to be a reflection of the kissing skills of these men, mind you. The make-out sesh was perfectly fine, and in fact, pleasant if memory serves. I was just slightly disappointed it wasn't the hottest kissing of all time, which was a very high expectation to set on these men (and in no way their fault that the bar was not passed.)

I'm very thorough in my research so... I got my own lip pierced... for science. I was going to work it harder than either of the two gentlemen, and I was going to use the little silver ring with the pretty onyx ball in the right corner of my mouth to my advantage.

As it turns out, it was extremely advantageous; apparently, men are equally as curious about girls with lip rings as it is vice versa. I actually had one guy tell me that I must be awfully bold to have a lip piercing, so he wanted to know what other things I was willing to experiment with.

I kissed many a good man during this time period and I have only the fondest memories, even if it does look like I have an inkspot in any pictures where my face is not the main focus of the camera.

Verdict: lip piercings are sexy in an "I'm in my early 20s and rebelling against The Man" kind of way  in a way that you know your parents would lose their minds if you brought him home and you're young enough that scaring your parents is an important factor when choosing any potential romantic partner.

But they're nothing to really dish about with your friends in your group text. If you never kiss someone with a lip ring, you'll be fine.

*not his real name



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