These quotes are all you need to convince yourself to pour another.
Because isn’t booze wonderful? Aren’t there just moments when, more than anything else, you could really go for a good, stiff drink? (Like, perhaps, right now.) But do you really want the hassle of dealing with craft cocktails? Can you really tell the difference between artisan, conflict-free, 12-year-aged speakeasy gin and the stuff in the plastic bottle that you used to swipe out of your parents’ liquor cabinet? (The correct answer, hipsters, is NO.) Sometimes the best thing about drinking is how quickly you can make the drink.
Jennifer McCartney shares our affection for the simpler drinks of life, which is why we love her book Cocktails for Drinkers: Not Even Remotely Artisanal, Three Ingredient or Less Cocktails That Get to the Point. It collects recipes for easy, essential cocktails that only involve a bare minimum of ingredients and don’t require any bar hardware or a mixology degree (whatever that is.) If you want a Moscow Mule or Whiskey Sour and you want it to taste amazing, but you want it FAST and unpretentious, this is the book for you.
Beyond the recipes, McCartney has also assembled a killer series of quotes from famous boozehounds that remind us why drinking can be such an awesome way to pass the time. Having trouble in your relationship? Had a hard day at work? More often than not, a good solid drink can make everything better. (Or if not, it can at least make you forget for a while.)
If you’re struggling with your desire for a mid-day martini, bask in the wisdom of these wise, well-lubricated luminaries — some of history’s greatest drinkers — and let them remind you why we drink.
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If you're searching for the best quotes and memes to share with the people you love (or just want to feel inspired yourself) ... look no further! From the sweetest love quotes, inspirational sayings, and hilarious relationship truths, we've got you covered.
Because you're not the one who's boring.
"I went out with a guy who once told me I didn't need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I'm drinking so that you're more fun to be around."
— Chelsea Handler
(This quote accompanies Cocktails for Drinkers' awesome recipe for the perfect Seven and Seven.)
Because reading is overrrated.
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
— Henny Youngman
(Good advice... after you're done reading this, of course.)
Because why argue with one of history's greatest thinkers?
"Beer… now there's a temporary solution."
— Homer Simpson
Because it makes life worth living.
"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."
— Johnny Carson
Because booze has been fueling sick burns since before WWII.
"A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk,' to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly."
— Winston Churchill
(Drops mic; wins World War II)
Because your day shouldn't peak at 7 am.
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
— Dean Martin
(Sage advice that Cocktails for Drinkers included with their recipe for the Macua, a.k.a. the national drink of Nicaragua.)
Because we need more epic odes to tequila.
"O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate!"
— Tom Robbins
(This accompanies Cocktails for Drinkers' delicious roadmap to making the perfect Matador - with just tequila, pineapple juice, and lime cordial.)
Because he's not wrong.
"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker."
— Ogden Nash
(Also, candy-flavor liquor should always be avoided.)
Because there are worse ways to solve a problem.
"There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne."
— Bette Davis
Because being a whiskey snob is the WORST.
"There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren't as good as others."
— Raymond Chandler
(This FACT about whiskey accompanies Cocktails for Drinkers' "so easy you can't mess it up" recipe for the ideal Rob Roy.)
Because martinis can lead to great things.
"I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host."
— Dorothy Parker
Because it makes the interesting people matter even MORE.
"Drinking makes uninteresting people matter less, and late at night, matter not at all."
— Lillian Hellman