Effort should always be matched.
Love can drive people to do some crazy things.
While traveling across the country or getting matching tattoos in the name of finding "the one" is usually thought of as romantic, putting it all on the line for your partner isn't always a good idea.
Personally, I always thought that when you got into a relationship, all games were over, and you could be as uninhibitedly in love as you wished. I thought that the whole point of all of this emotional drama and disappointed was to one day be with someone who you never had worry about scaring off.
Sadly, that's not always the case.
Sometimes the sun in shining, everything is wonderful and the effort is equal. But sometimes it's not.
People get caught up with work or their hobbies or their mental health and stop putting effort into their relationships. They ignore their partners, who despite being constantly ignored, are still trying everything they can to keep the relationship intact.
So if lately you've felt like you're the only one trying and it's up to you to save the relationship, allow me to take some weight off your shoulders: stop trying.
If you're partner isn't trying, you shouldn't be either.
This isn't to say the relationship is doomed forever or to condone flirting with your delivery man because you're over not getting any attention. The fact of the matter is, you're not the focus of your partner's world right now. And that's okay.
There isn't anything wrong with you or what you're doing. It's as simple as something bigger going on. And forcing them to couples therapy or spoon-feeding them chocolate covered strawberries isn't going to change that.
Of course, a lack of attention could be a sign of a larger issue, either way you don't want to be the girl who gets all dramatic and crazy if she's not feeling validated by her relationship.
So rather that spend you time researching how to "get the spark back," or buying blueberry scented condoms, focus on the things that make YOU happy. Why wait for your partner to make you the priority when you can just do it yourself?
Let your partner know that you're there for them if they ever want to talk about anything, and then go live your damn life. It's obvious that the relationship isn't your partner's whole world, so it shouldn't be yours either.