4 Problems Only A Blowjob Can Solve

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Life is full of problems, and a choice BJ is the solution to so many of them.

There is almost no such thing as a bad blowjob.

By and large, if a gentlemen is on the receiving end of having his knob thoroughly gobbled, he is the first to admit that he is in absolutely no position to get picky.

Sure, furious chewing with sharpened incisors is not advised (I just made myself shudder writing that). But at the end of the day, even the laziest blowjob can cure the worst ills life has to offer.  

1. That Sports Team Lost/Won

People love sports. Me? I can’t really manage to muster up any enthusiasm over a bunch of people throwing objects into holes, hoops, nets, and so forth. This is not true for a lot of men.

When their sports team loses they can be major bummers. But you know what’s not a bummer? When someone sucks on your penis until you reach completion.

Bonus: This is also acceptable practice if you like sports and your team won and you feel like celebrating with fellatio, you know, in the Italian style.

2. The Death Of A Pet

The greatest tragedy of being a pet owner is knowing that you will outlive your adorable and devoted companion. Pets are a huge part of our lives. When they die, the loss is devastating.

But it’s important that we move on, that’s what they would want. With the amount of time dogs spend trying to get their noses into various crotches, you know they’d be in full support of a blowjob to mourn their passing.

3. Somebody Ate The Last Slice Of Pizza

Nothing rivals the feeling of emptiness that strikes us when we open a box of pizza expecting to grab a gooey slice and find it empty. It’s a sadness that haunts us for weeks after the fact. When it happens to a lover, there is nothing we want so desperately as to heal that ache.

Heal it with head.

If you were the one who ate the last slice, maybe try to put your finger up his butt. He’s earned it.

4. There Is No Games Of Thrones This Week

When you have been looking forward to Game of Thrones all week and then turn to HBO only to discover that there is no new episode. You are both disconsolate and now have an unexpectedly unplanned hour to fill. Don the Dany wig you keep on hand for occasions just like this and pay all due homage to your Khal.

What you do with the remaining 50 minutes is up to you.

This is just the tip of the very sexy iceberg. See what problems your mouth can’t cure, I dare you!

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