True love means never getting matching skin infections.
When you fall head over heels in love, you know it. There are butterflies all up in your stomach meats, and you find yourself really earnestly saying things like "if you wanted me to eat my own fingers, I totally would."
Suffice to say, falling in love feels great, but it can make you look very, very stupid ... and mildly deranged.
Couples tattoos capture the sheer bliss and naked idiocy of love in all its newness. You love this person so much that you are willing to have your terrible inside joke about penguins together inked onto your person forever by a monotone man in a bandana named Kassidy. Sure, it's a sweet gesture, but let's be real: Love fades.
Tattoos also fade, but not always as quickly.
Trust us, we've got proof.
Let's NOT toast
Perhaps these two met splitting a plate of toast. Maybe they are both gluten-free and this is an ironic jab at us bread-eaters. Either way, when they break up the tats go from cute to just odd.
They didn't read the play
"Baby let's get tattoos from that one play Shakespeare wrote about statutory rape and co-dependence where the kids die at the end as a symbol of our love." -- No one ever.
Is there an "I love you" roll?
"I love you, and I love sushi."
"Oh my god, I love YOU and I also love sushi!"
"That settles that."
"To the inking parlor!"
Keep your lips zipped.
You know what Han Solo and Princess Leia would never have done? GOTTEN INNER LIP TATTOOS. Moving on.
It's a cute idea ... IF YOU ARE ALWAYS HOLDING HANDS. Because when you aren't, the chances are high you will just look very illiterate.
Kiss kiss, bye bye.
This is acceptable only if her tattoo is taken from an actual lipstick mark from him. Otherwise it is just deeply confusing.
This does not rule.
This charming personal joke relies heavily on puns making it a thing that is to be despised. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good pun from time to time, but we've got to draw a line somewhere.
It's not that I have anything against Pokemon (Squirtle for the win, guys). It's that by their very nature they do not represent monogamous love. I mean, the motto of the game is gotta catch 'em all. So unless you are in an open relationship with a goal of amassing all of the partners, let's give this one a miss, shall we?
I heart-shaped-blob you
Even if this came close to being a perfect heart (and it does not) surely there are better ways of expressing your devotion than by emblazoning a heart on your persons. Forget what I said about the Pikachu tattoo before - even a shared Pikachu tattoo would be an improvement on this mess.