Quotes so selfish, only a narcissist will love ‘em.
It’s not always easy being a narcissist, particularly in the bedroom.
Sure, they’re constantly looking out for themselves, always putting their pleasure before your own, but have you ever stopped for a moment to think about how exhausting that must be? All that limitless confidence has to come from SOMEWHERE, right? It has to take some serious effort to IGNORE everyone else’s needs, focus solely on themselves, and treat sex like a completely one-way transaction. I’m not saying you should feel BAD for narcissists – because they wouldn’t care if you did anyway – but I am saying that, just like everyone else, people with narcissism occasionally need a little inspiration when it comes to sex, a little pep talk to keep their limitless egos and unwavering faith in their sexual prowess expanding out into the universe.
With that in mind, we’ve assembled a collection of 17 inspirational sex quotes that should lift the spirits of any bedroom narcissist who could use a little pick-me-up before they muster the will to have sex with one of us “normals.”
Are we teasing narcissists a little bit? Totally. But if there’s any group of people who can take it, they can. And, if you’ve ever gone to bed with a true sexual narcissist, you will find some VERY familiar sentiments in these inspirational quotes. These quotes are what we imagine run through a narcissist’s head during sex -- their inner monologue, if you will. But these aren’t just inspirational for narcissists. If you aren’t feeling totally confident when it comes to sex, read these quotes, soak in their ego-drenched bravado, and use them the next time you need to summon your own inner-narcissist between the sheets. Because, occasionally being a little selfish when it comes to sex is NOT always a bad thing. You need to be your own advocate. So, narcissists and normals alike, enjoy these inspirational quotes that should remind you that you are ALL the golden sex gods that you imagine yourselves to be.
"I'd f*ck me."
"Bad-ass on the streets. Tight ass in the sheets."
"I can’t believe you’re getting all this for the price of breakfast."
"I’m as awesome as I know she thinks I am."
"Sex is always about emotions. Your emotion should be GRATITUDE."
"I’m so happy for you right now."
"It’s awesome that you have mirrored ceilings. Because you don’t want to miss looking at my ass all night."
"It’s not soft. It just saw the shadow from your thighs and thought there was six more weeks of winter."
"I’d get on top. But it’s not leg day yet."
"I always put the 'cum' in 'You’re welcome.'”
"She wouldn't be sweating so much if I wasn’t HOT AS SHIT."
"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work. And I feel pretty f*cking great, so YOU’RE WELCOME."
"Who’s that sexy beast? Oh, I clicked on my own profile again."
"I love it when you spank me, cuz it sounds like applause."
"I’m so awesome in bed, I scream my own name."
"I want you to shove me against the wall and f*ck me."
"If she wanted us to come together, she should’ve called herself an Uber."
If you're searching for the best quotes and memes to share with the people you love (or just want to feel inspired yourself) ... look no further! From the sweetest love quotes, inspirational sayings, and hilarious relationship truths, we've got you covered.