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Quit the bullsh*t.
By Elizabeth Z Pardue — Written on May 25, 2016
Come on. You know what sh*theads look like. You know how they sound, how they act, and all the godawful clichés they keep delivering that would be funny if they weren't still happening ad nauseum. (It's like assh*les all have the same script and are unable to be creative or original in their dick moves. Tres gauche!)
And you know how you are when you're trying to justify putting up with one. You know how dumb you sound making typical excuses for tolerating someone's stupidity and disrespect. You know how crazy you look when you're obsessively checking up on a cheater and a liar.
You know how untrue to yourself you're being when you're exhibiting all those behaviors that are so not like you. So cut it out.
I'm aware that "the heart wants what it wants." I know that "there are many fish in the sea," but we're inclined to direct all our interest into one. I've done it, too. By the time I was in my early 20s, I'd spent a third of my life trying desperately to make it work with someone who treated me terribly.
My excuses for putting up with it were just as awful and predictable as every other woman's who has tolerated garbage too long: "But we have such a special connection that nobody understands." "He keeps coming back to me! He must really love me." "It's really wonderful most of the time. He just messes up every couple months. Nobody's perfect." "Well, it's not like he hits me." Yikes.
There were a number of really pathetic reasons I stayed — no self-esteem, sexual chemistry, fear of never finding someone else who would love me — but the real reason was because I honestly believed that, one day, he'd start behaving the way he had the potential to.
Maybe if I waited around long enough for him to work through his insecurities, he'd be the guy I thought he was capable of becoming.
That is a major reason we won't leave a partner who doesn't show us love in return. We want to be the one who stuck around and showed unwavering support when the other person finally blossoms into the special butterfly we believe they have hidden away deep inside.
But what we forget to consider is: If your partner isn't backing up their loving, heartfelt sentiments with loving, respectful actions, they aren't loving you. And waiting around for them to start is damaging to you both as a significant other and as an independent person.
So no, I don't care what your heart is saying about your bond or your love or the special moments you've had together. If someone you're in a relationship with is treating you with disrespect, they don't love you the way you need to be loved.
Alright, maybe you've already fallen in love with the sh*thead. Now is when you opt to love yourself more. Walk away from the bullsh*t. It's the first step to finding the person who can reciprocate your love.