Oh, the vagina. One of the most complex and misunderstood of the female organs.
Not only is the majority of it completely hidden to anyone without a medical license, but it's also is kind of high-maintenance.
You have to track her period, experiment to see what kind of underwear fabric she likes, buy expensive-ass razors so you don't irritate her, and constantly keep her clean and groomed.
If you weren't fortunate enough to receive some form of a "What The Bleep Is Happening To My Body," book when you were kid, your genitals might be somewhat of a mystery, and that's okay. It's kind of their thing.
While our vaginas will keep us guessing for pretty much the rest of our lives (am I pregnant, am I getting my period, WHY ARE YOU ITCHING?!), there are some things we can come to expect from our lady bits.
Like the rest of our beautiful bodies, vaginas change. They change when you blossom into a beautiful woman with B.O. or when you're experiencing all the wonderfully disgusting side effects of child birth (yay womanhood!).
They also change just because of time.
Though a lot of junk happens up your junk, where you won't be able to see anything, there are some visible difference you can expect from your vagina as you get older.
Your fun, "I'm too old to know better, but too young to care" 20-year-old vagina.
At this point in the game, your vagina is just livin' life ya know? Taking things day-by-day and trying to figure out what her purpose it. So for the most part, you can leave her alone.
Other than your regular gyno checkups, you only need to check in with your girl if you start to experience anything abnormal. The only visible change you might see is that outer lips (or professionally known as your labia majora), might get a little slimmer.
And no, it has nothing to do with all that kale you've been eating. Certain types of fat just decrease as you get older.
Your lazy, "let's stay in and order pizza" 30-year-old vagina.
You vagina is a little exhausted from all that partying she did in her 20s.
Due to the higher possibility of childbirth, you may have gotten to know your vagina a little better this past decade, and now you guys are like old pals. At this stage, it's all about comfort, acceptance and humor — because things might get a little sad.
In your 30s, your vagina could start to darken around the inner lips or labia minora, causing you to want to never look up there again. But don't make her feel bad! It's not her fault, it's just life man.
Your irritaed, "don't bother me, I'm sleeping" 40-year-old vagina.
Turns out all that lounging just made her cranky AF.
When you get in your 40s, your vagina gets super out of balance due to lower estrogen levels which causes random inflammation, dryness, itching, burning and redness.
Rather then tell her she needs to get her shit together, try treating your vagina with a little love and TLC. Actually, a lot of love. Apparently the ONE THING that can combat all that nastiness is doing the nasty.
So if your vagina is acting like an uptight little bitch, it's just because she needs to get laid.