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Avoid these at all costs.
By Loren Trapanese — Written on Jun 15, 2016
Once you reach a certain age, you might reflect back on your younger years. You know, when you were stupid and made horrible life choices. But thanks to living and learning, you don't need to make these same mistakes, especially as a woman.
Before you do any of these 20 things in your 20s, here's a little tongue-in-cheek humor for you...
1. Going tanning
The rumors are false. Tanning actually does wonders for your skin. Consistent tanning will not only give your skin the most flattering shade of orange, but it will also make you look way older. Tanning causes the smoothness of the epidermis to form little wrinkles which give you that hot older woman look. Here's the deal-breaker: tanning doesn't cause cancer — it cures it!
So, all of those rumors you hear about tanning being so bad for you are entirely not true. Tanning makes us look all the much better. So girls, grab your lotion and hit the salon!
2. Drinking beer
Ladies, beer is actually the healthiest form of alcohol. The term "beer belly" is a fallacy — beer does no such thing. Carbs, on carbs, on carbs — all causing a wonderful little buzz that makes us forget how not-bloated feel. Plus, cocktails, martinis, and margaritas are obviously way more expensive than a bottle of brew. Guzzle it up girls.
3. Not drinking enough water
How many times are we told that not drinking enough water is terribly bad for you? TOO MANY, and for what reason? Oh yeah, it's good for your skin, hair, nails, weight-loss, wrinkles ... yada yada yada. I call blasphemy.
Water is not even a necessary or even detrimental factor in any of those things listed above. So, no, you don't have to drink ridiculous amounts of water. Soda is one hundred times better for anyway. It doesn't make you gain weight, it's actually used to lose weight. Read about it.
4. Forgetting to moisturize
Skin care should be, like, the least of your worries right now. Moisturizing daily doesn't really do much, such as tone your skin, tighten your skin, or maintaining healthy, younger looking skin, as you get older. Yup, all BS. So you shouldn't really bother taking the ten extra minutes after showering to lather your bod in moisturizer. Your skin will look way smoother and younger without it.
5. Not making exercise part of their routine
Working out is honestly the worst physical activity a woman in her twenties can do. You want lose weight? Um, the gym is not the place the go. You get hit on by juice-head guys, you sweat (eww), and you start to look all defined and cut. That doesn't look good in a bikini.
Netflix has a better idea: stay home, nuzzle up, eat some popcorn, and watch movies. Now THAT is how you get that summer bod that you've been complaining about for, like, months. Plus, Netflix is $7.99 a month while the gym is $20. You can't go wrong. Working out makes you fat, so don't do it.
6. Drunk texting
I'm being SO serious ladies! If you do not drunk text, how do you expect to make those smart decisions of getting frisky with your ex at 3 AM? Exactly. It is a mandatory part of getting wasted. Then you get to wake up the next day and realize how absolutely amazing it was. And bonus: you're obviously going to get back together.
7. Washing their hair too much
Beauty sites are complete and utter liars. Washing your hair everyday is proper hygiene; it doesn't take away from your hair's natural vitamins and definitely doesn't make your hair greasy. Washing your hair every other day is damage control 101 for your hair. It takes away the silky, greasy look that really makes your hair stand out.
Why would you want to do that? When they tell you that washing your hair too much is bad for you, put up your hand and walk away.
8. Trying to rock thin eyebrows
Tweezers are a girl's best friend; don't let anyone take them away from you. This new "thick eyebrows" look is so outdated. Hair is bad anywhere that isn't on your head, period. Get those tweezers out and pluck away. Pluck, pluck, pluck until you have a nice thin arch. Nothing is sexier.
9. Being jealous of other women
Jealousy is not a bad thing. It doesn't make you psycho or less attractive — don't listen to that crap. Jealousy is way hot. Guys love it. When you see a girl in a bar who looks way better than you, go on with your bad-self and sh*t on her life. Every time you see a girl who is more attractive than you, you need to rip her apart because it makes you feel so much better about how you look. Get it, girl.
10. Not getting a good night's rest
No, no, and no. Ever hear the saying, "Sleep is for the weak?" It's so true. Sleep isn't a necessity. It doesn't help you focus, lose weight, or repair the body. It makes you waste time that you could be out partying and having fun. So no, it is not a health issue if you're not getting enough sleep. You don't want to miss out on anything that happens at 2:30 AM on a Tuesday.
11. Moving in with a boyfriend too soon
If you are in relationship, you must move in with your significant other. It is a serious part of knowing that you're right for each other, especially when you're in your early twenties. You've only been dating for four months? That is THE perfect time to do it.
Playing house is fabulous. Plus, you get nookie... like, whenever you want it. You and your partner are obviously not breaking up so you have to live together or it's not meant to be.
12. Getting married too young
You're 23 and you haven't gotten married yet? What are you doing wrong? Clearly something. Ladies, listen up, getting married is one thing that has to be done in your twenties. It's crystal clear that you and your partner have no other choice than to get married as quickly as possible.
Bonus: you've got the hot bod to rock the perfect dress. What better way to say "I do" then while you're still young, hot, and not established in a career yet?
13. Getting pregnant
It is so totally adorable to have a baby while you're in your twenties. There is no better dress-up accessory. You and your partner are missing out on really living life if you don't have a child together before your thirties. Seriously though, babies are way chic.
Plus, if you want to keep your man, what better way than to have his kid? Birth control is overrated anyways, and condoms stink — literally. Babies are better than purses.
14. Adopting a pet just to have one
It can't get anymore logical than this: you and your partner don't live together (or maybe you do), and you buy a puppy. Who has sole custody? Is there dog-support involved? Clearly, in order to take that huge step of preparing for your future child together, you must get a canine. It seriously helps you understand what having a baby entails as far as responsibility.
Babies also get fed twice a day and are trained on wee-wee pads. The experience of buying a dog with your partner will determine whether or not you'll both be good parents. Highly recommended.
15. Airing dirty laundry on social media
Social media is the cheapest form of therapy. I'm not lying. Sites create copious amount of quotes and memes that describe every possible situation you may be in, so that you can share it with your fellow followers. Trust me, they want to know everything going on in your life, from the type of guys (or girls) you want, how you want guys/girls to treat you, what kind of guy/girl they should be, how fun it is being single, how badly you "don't need a man," and so on and so forth.
Your followers enjoy reading every quote you post. They definitely don't judge you or make fun of you for it either. So go on and let it all hang out on social media.
16. Obsessively checking Instagram
Looking up from your cell phone/laptop is a serious crime. You need to know exactly what everyone is doing at all times. "Who wore what outfit?" "Where did they go?" "OMG they hooked up?" are all questions that are imperative to your survival throughout the day. Ignore when adults tell you that you spend too much time attached your electronic devices. You need to be up to date at all times. The news is not important.
17. Choosing a romantic getaway over a vacation with girlfriends
Bae is more important than friends. Bae is priority. You cannot decide to take a vacation with just your group of gals (friendcation). Unacceptable. Bae is the one you should go on ALL of your vacations with, not your gal pals. They aren't going to be in your life forever — bae is. Don't make a mistake and wind up regretting going away without bae.
18. Avoiding using wrinkle cream
Starting ahead of time on getting rid of wrinkles is the dumbest idea you've ever had. Wrinkle creams do not do away with frown lines, forehead lines, or any line that you don't want on your precious Mona Lisa. They actually give you more wrinkles. So, neglecting wrinkle cream is way healthier for your skin.
19. Settling for less than they deserve
Obviously, you can't get better, do better, want better, or deserve better. Settling is the best way to play it safe in your twenties. You'll look back on your life one day and realize that all of those wishes for something more were a waste of time. Taking a risk and giving up on something that makes you question your worth is not worth it. YOLO! Don't avoid settling.
20. Staying home instead of going out
Your twenties are your time to shine. Don't spend them partying every night when you could be home relaxing. You want to reminisce on how relaxing and peaceful your twenties were, and wasting time on frivolous partying is definitely a choice you'll regret.
Who needs the Jersey Shore? Vegas? Atlantic City? Miami? When you have a comfy couch at home and a fridge full of company, you're living life to the fullest. Homebodies for the win!
This article was originally published at lorensaidwhat.wordpress.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.