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Your alarm wakes you up… you’re on the wrong side of the bed with an aching knot in your neck… and the dog is breathing in your face.
You stumble to the kitchen to grab some coffee, but you’re all out of the good stuff. So you settle for the powdered instant coffee and get your synthetic, caffeine high from your dirty, dirt water.
You check your phone to see if anything important has come up, and you get an avalanche of emails all requiring your urgent attention, and your day starts in a shitty, reactive state.
Your thoughts switch from “This coffee really sucks” to “Everything has to be done! Right now! This super important stuff has to be done ASAP! No time to kiss my love, I have to go!”
Either that, or…
You slowly wake up to your partner shifting around on their side of the bed. They roll over to face you with half-opened eyes and tornado-hair scattered everywhere. You kiss them on the nose… and forehead… and mouth and say “Good morning love.”
They make a groggy noise, stretch, and say “G’morning” back to you, finishing with a kiss. But it’s a kiss that lingers a little longer.
Your lips separate, you look at each other in the soft morning light, and you watch as the subtle desire grows in your partner’s eyes. You kiss again, but this time a little firmer. On the next kiss your tongues touch just a little. They’re usually a little self-conscious about their morning breath, but not today.
You put your hand on their lower back and pull them closer. They melt. You melt. Everybody melts.
This is where your clothes would come off, but you’re both already naked. A fact that you are both happy to take full advantage of.
And for the next half hour, you share. You share looks, glances, kisses, and orgasms. You share intimacy, love, and connection. And when you’re all done loving each other as only you and your partner can, you’ll share a secret that you can carry around for the rest of the day that will cast a rosy glow over everything that you do, think, and feel. No matter where you go, or who you spend time with that day, you’ll both be able to retreat into your mind for a moment and remember the things that transpired in the morning that will make your heart flutter.
So… in this choose-your-own-adventure kind of situation, which of the previous two scenarios would you prefer to engage in?
In my opinion, morning sex is the best sex. Sex anytime of day with someone you love is fantastic, but I’m a super-supporter of morning sex. Why? Here’s why.
1. Morning sex helps you embrace yourself in a more vulnerable state
When you wake up in the morning, your eyes are half open, there’s drool on your face, and you’re not in your most put-together state. But this also means that you’re in a more honest state.
If you’re used to only being intimate with your partner when you’re in a more societally-expected “perfect” state (aka wearing make up, the right clothes, perfectly groomed and ready) then morning sex will be a good, healthy comfort zone stretch for you.
Simultaneously melt through perfectionism, and embrace your body/face/sexuality as it naturally occurs. Besides, honesty is hot.
2. Morning sex is so much better for you than coffee
Morning sex is free, it’s natural, and the health benefits are numerous.
Morning sex strengthens your immune system, lowers your risk of heart problems, and you get your cardio in without even having to put on your gym clothes.
While coffee has it’s own unique health benefits to weigh against, I think we can all agree that morning sex is a more natural and healthy high than slurping down caffeine.
3. Morning sex reminds us of what’s really important
When our labia/balls are in our partners mouths and it isn’t even 8am, you remember “Oh right! That work deadline I was stressing about isn’t as important as I thought it was. Because THIS… this is what matters.”
4. Morning sex allows you to start your day with love
Morning sex connects you and your partner. It makes you happier and more emotionally resilient throughout the day (as an individual and as a couple).
Connecting on a physical, sexual, and emotional level before your feet have touched the ground around your bed is such a fantastic way to start your day.
And remember that sex doesn’t necessarily need to be defined as penetration. I believe just as strongly in starting your day by holding your partners face in your hands and kissing them all over… or kissing each other’s genitals for a few minutes. Anything that physically and emotionally connects the two of you and reminds you that “Yes, this is my person. And I love them.”
If you and your partner haven’t had morning sex in the last few weeks (or months… or ever) then why not plan on it? It’s as easy as setting the alarm 20-30 minutes earlier. Believe me, the rush of happy chemicals that you’ll get from sexually connecting with your partner will more than make up for the lost minutes of sleep. Or, you know, stop watching Netflix at night and go to bed a tiny bit earlier so that’s it that much easier to prioritize the morning fun.
So what’s it going to be? An obnoxious, loud, repetitive alarm in your ear, or your partner’s slow, hot breath?