We're not lazy — clothes just aren't our jam.
1. We're not lazy — clothes just aren't our jam.
We don't run around town in our sweatpants. We're not slobs with food spilled on our clothes. We just don't really "get" clothes. People get so worked up over them, having such passion for clothing; meanwhile, we're over here thinking, "Well, yes, all my bits are covered; it's seasonally appropriate. I'm comfortable and this is flattering. I've done an excellent job dressing myself today."
I admit to loving the morning after slideshows of big red carpets, but my reactions are mostly "Pretty dress! Pretty earrings! Wouldn't ever wear those shoes. Pretty! Terrible. Ooh, Idris Elba in a tux... let's look a little closer at that one."
2. We constantly fight with wanting to look good versus not wanting to be bothered.
Everyone wants to look good. Us, too! It's just that clothes can get really tricky, really fast. And then we get trends going that are just beyond our grasp of understanding, and clothes cost all kinds of money (nothing ever should cost more than $100). And are we dressing for our body type?
And how do we remain comfy if we're always fidgeting with how our blanket/poncho/sweater thing is hanging, and our carefully-yet-casually cuffed boyfriend jeans? And this necklace is 400 pounds, and dear god I just wanted to go out in public without being arrested for indecency. Stop this madness!
That's why I default to dresses. They're just so easy. They make it look like there was some effort, but I just threw it on. Some of us default to monochrome wardrobes. Some default to a favorite pair of jeans that do amazing things to their butts. It's a hard balance looking fly with little to no effort.
3. We get self-conscious when we actually do dress up.
You know how Clothes People (that's an industry term) always talk about whether the person is wearing the outfit or if the outfit is wearing them? We worry about that. It's not that we're showing up places in enormous structured ball gowns, but sometimes when I put on red lipstick or a pair of heels, I think to myself, "Can I pull this off? Am I? This is very off-brand for me and I'm just ... vaguely uncomfortable."
Even when I start the night thinking I'm a bombshell, it's pretty likely I'll have doubts at some point throughout the night — especially when I'm with my effortlessly glam friends.
4. We never look like we're going to the same party as our friends.
This is a long-standing joke between my friends and I. There are countless photos of us where it looks as though we're just meeting up before we head our separate ways.
I'll be in leggings and wearing warm but not-stylish winter boots, while they're in cute pea coats and artfully chunky sweaters. Or we're at our friend's wedding and they're in suits, shiny dresses and heels, while I've shown up in a cotton dress and my formal sandals (you know, the kind with leather straps and soles).
5. We still manage to take forever to get ready.
Don't ask how. I don't have the answer. I'm low-maintenance in both the clothing and makeup departments, and if I want to, I still require an hour between getting out of the shower and getting out the door. Not always, mind you; I can also be presentable in seven minutes if I need to be. But don't expect us to always be ready to go at a moment's notice.
6. We want to be complimented.
Yes, this sun dress took exactly .89 seconds to put on, and yes, that was the appeal of it. It doesn't mean that I didn't twist around to see myself at all angles in the mirror, and I still think to myself, "You look cute today!"
I know I didn't carefully curate my outfit and pick the perfect necklace to tie everything together, and there was no #OOTD (outfit of the day) photo, but it's still nice to have someone else notice that I'm especially cute today.
7. The internet makes it so easy for us to be lazy.
Google "quick hairstyles," "easy eyeliner," or "lazy girl clothes hacks." Actually, just start typing "lazy girl" and let the internet supply potential searches for you. There are billions on billions of hits that will help us look good with the least amount of effort possible.
It's not like we need to go shopping every season, because with each seasonal turn we just wait patiently for the internet to explain to us how to wear our sundresses in the winter (wool tights and cardigans), or how to tie our favorite fall flannel into the cutest knot to be paired with slouchy jeans for a cute summer night out.
We've got the entire world at our fingertips, chock full of tips on how to fool our friends into thinking we spent loads of time on this look.