Warning: These may make your partner want to do-si-do in the other direction, y'all.
Country musicians seem to have a very, um … unique way of expressing their love.
These down-home folks are known for wearing their hearts on their sleeves and pouring their hearts out. And sometimes it's a beautiful thing (Willie Nelson singing "Always on my Mind." Faith Hill singing "Breathe." Pasty Cline singing "Crazy."
“I’d like to kiss you way back in the sticks. I’d like to walk through a field of wildflowers. And I’d like to check you for ticks.”
— Brad Paisley, "Ticks"
“Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk.”
— Trace Adkins, "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"
“Get your tongue out of my mouth because I'm kissing you goodbye.”
— John Denver "Kissing You Goodbye"
“Your never ending presence really cramps my style
I dream that it won't always be the same
At first I was attracted but after a while
Have you ever heard of the hard-to-get game?
How can I miss you when you won't go away?"
— Dan Hicks "How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away"
“There's a tear in my beer 'cause I'm crying for you dear.”
— Hank Williams Jr. and Hank Williams "Tear in my Beer"
“And that's the reason my good looks and my figure's gone
And that's the reason I ain't got no hair to comb
An' you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling”
— Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty "You're The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly"
"And now you say you've got me out of your conscience
I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart"
— Johnny Cash "Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart"
“Please bypass this heart
Until I'm well again
Let's not even start, to fall, where we fell again
The cheating was sweet but my heart is beat”
— Jimmy Buffett "Please Bypass This Heart"
“I'm so miserable without you
It's almost like you're here”
— Billy Ray Cyrus "I'm So Miserable"
"I've learned she can resist me by the way she always disses me /
And comes to bed at night, with that cold cream on"
— The Notorious Cherry Bombs "It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long"
“I love you honey / I love your money / But most of all I love your automobile”
— Patsy Cline "I Love You, Honey"
"She thinks all my jokes are corny, convict movies make her horny / She likes ketchup on her scrambled eggs / Swears like a sailor when she shaves her legs"
— John Prine and Iris DeMent "In Spite of Ourselves"
"I want you to love me like my dog does baby / When I come home, I want you to just go crazy / He never looks at me like he might hate me"
— Billy Currington "Like My Dog"
“Well, it's perfectly clear, between the TV and beer
I won't get so much as a kiss
As I head for the door, I turn around to be sure
Did I shave my legs for this?”
— Deana Carter "Did I Shave My Legs For This?"
"The more boys I meet, the more I love my dog".
— Carrie Underwood "The More Boys I Meet"
"She thinks my tractor's sexy. It really turns her on".
— Kenny Chesney "She Thinks my Tractor's Sexy"