Are you REALLY a match made in the stars?
By Erin McKelle
If you’re even remotely interested in astrology, there’s no doubt you’ve seen compatibility tests that tell you how well you and your partner’s stars are aligned. But, can astrology really help you see who makes a good match for you?
It depends on your belief in astrology—of course—but I think it can be a very interesting factor to consider. It’s not the be-all-end-all methodology of finding your soul mate, but it can definitely give you some insight into your personalities.
So first of all—how exactly can you find your compatibility?
The first place to start would be your sun sign, which is your overarching astrological influence and the sign that you identify when someone asks you, “What’s your sign?” based on your birth date. Once you’ve identified both of your signs, then you can determine how compatible they are to and with each other.
Here are some tips on how to find out if your signs match up:
How many signs separate you?
The first thing you’ll want to look at is how many signs of the zodiac are between yours and your partner's. Remember that Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, so use that as your reference guide. According to the AstroTwins—Tali and Ophira Edut—the distance between your signs can say a lot about how compatible you are.
Typically, signs that are one or two away from yours can either bring about mutual love or instant hate. You may either find yourself bonding over your similarities or clashing because you’re too much alike.
According to their book, Love Zodiac, being either four—trine—or six—opposite—signs away from a partner create the most harmony and comfort in romantic relationships. So, get counting to see how many signs away you and your partner—or partner to be—are from each other!
What are your qualities and elements?
Another important astrological factor that is often overlooked is qualities and elements. Your sign has one of three qualities associated with it—fixed, mutable, or cardinal—and one of the four elements of, fire, earth, air, and water.
You can find out which qualities and elements you and your partner's signs are here. The zodiac is all about balance, so usually being in a relationship with someone who has an element that's different from yours will work out nicely. For those who partner with someone of the same element—such as two fire signs—these relationships can have a lot of passion, but also run their course quickly.
In terms of qualities, the same principle of balance applies. You might notice that you butt heads with those who share your same quality of mutable, fixed, or cardinal, as these all refer to a way of being in the world. So, your best match is someone who doesn’t have a matching quality.
What’s the best match for you?
There’s probably not only one sign that makes the best match for you, but as with other categories, a good boo for you will probably be someone who helps to balance the qualities of your sign. For example, I’m a Sagittarius—who are known for their love of travel and hatred of being tied down. Therefore, a quirky, rebellious Aquarius or a passionate and charming Leo are both good matches for me.
I’ve also found through research—and personal experience—that those who are best suited for you will either be a couple of signs away on the zodiac—giving you some commonality—or be across the way two seasons or so over as to help balance your energy.
The spring signs of the zodiac—Aries, Taurus, and Gemini—are all known for their stubborn nature and their intelligence. The summer signs—Cancer, Leo, and Virgo—are all emotionally complex and nurturing. The fall signs—Libra, Scorpio, and Sagittarius—are quick-witted and sexually charged, while the winter signs of Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces are all very rigid.
Looking at these qualities, you can probably see how someone in an opposing season can help to balance you out, while still having common threads that link you.
Analyze your birth charts.
Once you’ve gotten a little deeper, consider comparing your birth charts and seeing how the placement of your other planets, rising signs, and houses intersect. If you’re unfamiliar, a birth chart is an astrological chart that shows where the planets and stars were at the exact moment of your birth that's dependent upon the time and location of your birthplace.
This is where things get a lot more personal—since your sun sign doesn’t tell you everything about the complexity of your personality. I recommend telling your partner about wanting to do this and making it a joint activity—if they’re open to it. If they don’t want you to map their birth chart, respect their wishes and stick to the other elements we’ve discussed here.
For further reading:
I’m not yet an astrology expert, but I can point you in the direction of many people who are. I already mentioned the AstroTwins earlier in this article, as they have fabulous books, courses, and free horoscopes that are extremely helpful for any amateur astrologist.
I also highly recommend Stella Starsky and Quinn Cox’s Sextrology to learn more about astrological compatibility in the bedroom. Linda Goodman’s Love Signs is a good one too, in order to see a full analysis of your compatibility with someone of any sign.
Happy reading—and here’s to us all finding love, whether or not we decide to consult the stars.
This article was originally published at Ravishly. Reprinted with permission from the author.