Mama's boys have their perks.
Not every millennial, whether they have finished their undergraduate education or just started grad school, is out living on their own. In fact, most of us (including myself) have gone back home with mom and dad for a little longer than anticipated. There is no shame in that, despite what the naysayers may think.
That being said, living with your folks can have bad side-effects on your social, and dating life.
Some prefer to date people who have moved out on their own by 22. Totally understandable! However, just because you live with your parents doesn’t necessarily mean you have to put dating on hold.
Though there are some downsides to dating someone who lives with their folks, there are also many good reasons why you should give that guy or girl, who is in the transitional phase, a chance.
1. The situation is mostly temporary.
It’s not fair to judge, saying someone who lives with their parents wants to stay there forever. In fact, it’s probably not the case, even if it seems that way because they’re in their mid to late 20s.
Not everyone has an easy transition period after college. One could be back home because of a lost a job, a failed relationship, or simply because they didn’t have enough money to get out on their own. So most go back to mom and dad just so they can plan out their next steps, save up, and then move on out. And this will take some time, give or take, six months. Yet in some cases it can take one to two years, depending on how rough things are.
If you are dating someone in such a predicament, it’s fine to ask how long they plan on staying with their folks. If they give a reasonable time frame, give them a shot.
Now if they say they plan to stay with mommy and daddy for five years to forever, then you might want to move on…
2. They have a job and aren’t really mooching off their parents.
It’s completely fine to date someone who is living with their parents, especially if they have a job. This is a wonderful sign because it shows they are responsible.
Many millennials who live at home get called lazy because it seems like we’d rather stay at home and watch reruns of Friends on Netflix (which is totally fine to do on some days) rather than get up and find a job. When in reality most of us are working part-time jobs or as freelancers/independent contractors, or looking for full-time work.
3. They are good at saving.
The biggest benefit of living with your folks is having the opportunity to save more money, especially if you don’t have to pay rent or utilities (if you’re lucky).
That being said if your potential partner has a job, not only will they be paying their own bills and loans off, they can save up more for an apartment or a house (especially if it’s in a city where the cost of living is high, such as New York or Los Angeles), grad school, or for their future career endeavors. It can also be spent on you, for dates! A win, win situation.
Sure! It may be awkward to be intimate with your guy while his parents are in the next room. But when you do date someone in that kind of predicament, creativity needs to come into play. You can have fun with it.
If anything, he could just go to your place if you want to have sex. Just remember if you are at their place, respect whatever his parent’s house rules are. Don’t be afraid to sneak a quick kiss or two..or three.
5. They have strong family values.
While living with your parents may be looked down upon by many adults, there’s something to admire about an individual who is close with their family. Though they don’t plan to be there long, the fact that their parents even let them stay at home is a blessing in disguise.
People who live at home, are and should, be helping out around the house and may still, to an extent, follow their parent’s rules. In the process, they learn to appreciate their parents even more, thanks to their graciousness. So consider that when you want to date someone who is at home, especially if they are taking care of a sick parent. To them, family is important.
6. Because of the situation, you focus more on the person rather than economic status.
We sometimes think that when a guy, or girl, has money or material possessions that the person is more date-able than the someone who’s living at home. This is absolutely not true because the person with a full time job, fancy car, and the most stylish apartment may turn out to be a complete jerk compared to the one who isn’t as independent for the time being.
Living with your parents removes all those blinders, it forces you to see the person for who they truly are. He/She can be ambitious and determined to achieve their life goals.
Granted, there are those who live at home who are lazy and entitled (the typical millennial stereotype) but they doesn’t represent all the folks who are stuck with their parents for a little more than a few months.
So go for it, give your at-home-living bae a chance!
This article was originally published at Her Daily. Reprinted with permission from the author.