Thinner isn't better. Curvy isn't better. Because there is no better.
In my lifetime, I've seen so much hurt and turmoil that women go through — myself included.
When I was a young girl/teen/woman, I was an absolute toothpick; I mean almost anorexic skinny as some of my mother's co-workers thought. She'd tell them, "Are you kidding me? She eats more than me." When I see things like, "Curves, because no one wants to snuggle with a stick," I find this highly offensive. When I see comments to the opposite effect, I find it offensive.
If we all looked alike, life would be very boring. We're all made differently, and you know what? We're all beautiful. If you don't get to know someone because they're overweight or they're a "stick," then you have issues that need to be addressed.
Though I was dangerously thin-looking, I was always healthy. My metabolism was just super-high.
Over the years my body has changed as I've had a lot happen and mainly due to my metabolism finally starting to slow down. As a woman who was always ranging between size 1 and 3, I'm a size 6 now and I'm OK with it. Not because I wasn't happy before but because I accept who I am.
Some will scoff and complain I'm still skinny. Why? I am who I am, you are who you are, why even compare?
It's really dangerous when posts get sent around on social media expressing comments on thinner is better or curvy is better. This makes women more self-conscious than they already are and trust me: almost all women ARE self-conscious whether they admit it or not.
How do you think women started becoming anorexic or bulimic? Because someone somewhere decided to make them feel as though they were overweight and needed to lose weight even if they really didn't. This was something they saw, read, heard or were told directly. We women are life givers, mothers, caretakers, and lovers. We ARE more sensitive.
I don't see nearly the same amount of attention on men's weight or body shape. What I'm telling you is that by posting up previously stated comments, you're basically in some way shaming women that don't fit your mold or idea of the perfect figure.
Again, not all women are the same and it's absolutely frustrating and annoying that people even make comparisons like this. Perhaps you should keep your preference to yourself or do it in a way that states it's just your preference only. Something like "I prefer curves" or "I prefer thin" rather than "Curves, because bones are for dogs."
Can you even begin to see how offensive this is? I can assure you that those women who are bony or very thin ARE loved. I never had a problem getting a date or boyfriend. Not one ever complained that I was too thin or that they didn't like to snuggle me. I can also assure you that my boyfriend LOVES my body.
I know many thinner men that love larger women. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone has a preference. The danger is when you're outright offending those that don't fit YOUR desire or idea of what a woman should look like.
It's not just men that do this — I've seen plenty of women who also make these comparisons. Ladies, you're no better off comparing like this either. You're hurting the female population by contributing.
Shaming others' weight because you're either overly confident in your looks or are insecure about your weight isn't the right way to do things. Surely you can understand how hurtful this can be.
I'm asking everyone to be more sensitive. This isn't another post about people being offended in America; this is a struggle that has gone on since the media was invented, if not sooner.
Please think before you speak, or before you share a post that may hurt someone who that post seems to be directed to. Be a caring human being and make a difference.
This article was originally published at jendevillier.blogspot.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.