7 Reasons You Should Call Your Mother At LEAST Once A Day

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Call Your Mother, You Monster!

Oh, moms.

Moms. We've all got one. Because that's how humans are made. I've never been one of those girls who was all like "oh my god my mom is my BEST FRIEND" because my best friend has never awkwardly tried to explain sex to me. My best friend just kind of knows I have that covered. 

Now that I'm an adult, my mom and I are much closer than we were when I was a truculent, X-Files-lovin' teen. If she had her way, we would be on the phone at all hours of the day doing stuff like taking breaths and telling each other about it. Me, I'm much more of a once-a-week kind of girl.

You might want to try it too, and here are seven absolutely inspired reasons why. 

1. Because your brother has a girlfriend now.

Your mom either has the dirt on every other family member ("Your brother's girlfriend has a dog!") or thinks she has the dirt on every other family member ("Your brother's girlfriend has a dog!"). Either way, the gossip or flagrant misinformation are just as engaging as the average soap opera/the work you're supposed to be doing. 

2. Because it's funny to hear her pronounce celebrity names.

You can almost hear her brain melting as she tries to ask you a question about "Mr. Jason Zee and his wife, Beyinda." Strangely, she's never had an issue saying David Oyelowo. That's how you know he's her bae. 

3. Because she's entertaining when she's driving.

Who needs action movies when you can call your mom while she's driving? She will inevitably pick up the phone and yell, "I AM DRIVING." It's no use asking her why she answered. She has no valid reason to give. Instead, enjoy a five minute speech about the difficulty of switching lanes, which is more entertaining than any of Liam Neeson's latest works.

4. Because you keep ignoring her Facebook friend requests.

I've tried explaining to my mom that what she and I have is deeper than internet friendship, but I don't think she's buying it anymore. Hopefully, a weekly call will prolong the period of time before she forces my hand and I suddenly have a lot of explaining to do (Re: All of my college party pictures). 

5. Because one call a week can save you from a month of passive-aggressiveness.

One quick, weekly phone call letting her know the basics (that you're alive, that work is fine, your roommate is fine, you ate some food) will save you from an ice storm come Thanksgiving if you've been sending her to voicemail. You'll be all, "Can you pass the green bean casserole?" and she'll be all, "DID SOMEONE HEAR SOMETHING? LIKE THE GHOST OF AN UNGRATEFUL GIRL CHILD MAYBE?"

6. Because your pets live with her.

I love talking to my mom. She's the best. But I really love hearing her talk about the family pets. Well, it's less talking about them and more talking to them while she also tries to talk to me. "Yes your father is thinking that — OH MY GOD, DON'T EAT THAT!"

7. Because you came out of her, dummy.

Your tore her loins asunder. Or you gave her an impressive belly scar. She's the only person on earth who could listen to your ass hammer on about nothing for an hour and actually feel her heart swell with love. Phone her! You know that bitch can't text. 

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