Get the scoreboard ready.
You dreamed they would be best friends — going for manicures and baking at Christmas — but instead, it seems like your wife would rather have oral surgery than go for tea with your mom. What's a guy to do?
Here are seven huge signs your wife hates (gulp) your mom.
1. She refers to her as "your mother."
Never mom, never my "mother-in-law," and never by her first name. It's always "Your mother" at every turn, and it's typically said with a cold or disdainful voice. Eeek!
2. She passes you the phone each time.
Is mom on the phone, otherwise known as your mother? Your wife will pass off that phone faster than a hot potato. She would rather not talk to her, um ... ever.
3. She's always in tears over something your mom said.
At every holiday, party, or family gathering, somehow your mom manages to make your wife cry. Every. Single. Time. You're beginning to wish you had gotten a dog instead of a wife or that your mom just never opens her mouth around your wife for eternity.
4. She invites her mom to everything, but never yours.
A daughter is typically attached to her mom, but your wife will invite and seek out her own mom days before reaching out to yours. Maybe your mom isn't approachable or doesn't make your wife feel comfortable.
5. She counts down the minutes until your mom leaves.
Your wife counts the minutes on her smartphone or watch, simply waiting to bolt out the door while you attempt to enjoy your mom's company. Or if your mom is sort of witchy to your wife, you squeamishly suffer through the visit wishing you were at a sports bar instead.
6. She always finds something wrong with your mom.
She's never right. They're like two popular girls battling it out to be queen of the prom or something. The competition is so high, you're about to erect a scoreboard in your living room to keep track of the winner and loser.
7. She mutters under her breath and makes vague comments.
When your wife is with her friends, there's always some muttered vague comments about a certain someone, and you know that "certain someone" is your mom. Your heart is in your throat every time.
When it comes down to it, this situation sucks for you. Is your wife the problem? Your mom? Both? Most likely, it's a vicious cocktail of the two, although some mother-in-laws are really difficult and some wives are, too.
If you think the problem lies with your mom, nip it in the bud now before it kills your marriage. If the problem lies with your wife, you may need a counselor or third party to mediate, since a mom will love you no matter how hard you lean into her. But a wife ... well, that's a different story. Good luck.