Passionate women are hard to find but are worth the wait.
She's strong, opinionated, loyal, full of ideas and direction — and that's only a few of the reasons you like her. But before you pass go and collect your $200, know what you're getting into: this is a woman who contains a lot of fire.
Most of the time it will warm you, other times it will enlighten you, sometimes it will amuse you, but disrespect her and she will use it to light the bridge up in flames. We're celebrating the powerful and passionate women of the world. Here are 15 things to know before you date one.
1. She isn't defined by her relationship status and isn't afraid of being alone.
Whether dating, in love, engaged, married or single, these women are working hard to build a life that feels authentic and meaningful to them. They know that a diamond given by a man, or bought with their own funds, is a symbol of love that will shine much brighter on the finger of a woman who loves herself.
2. She cringes at people who play the victim.
She respects fighters so playing the "poor me" card will turn her off in about two seconds flat. Flashing this wildly unattractive quality shows her that you're willing to hand over all your power to your weakest source instead of refusing to let it seep into your identity.
Powerful women know that life will hand out hard times and heartaches, but those with character will do all they can to rise and rise again. They refuse to be defined by their adversity, but instead want to create their legacy based on how they overcame it.
She's not looking to coddle or be coddled, but she will gladly fight beside you and offer a hand to pull you back up when you fall, instead of pity you. This isn't because she doesn't care; she does, and she respects you enough to see you as bigger than whatever it is you have to overcome.
3. She has no time for those without passion.
If you have ever spoken to her about something she loves (and really, she only initiates long conversations about things she loves and cares about), you'll notice a glimmer in her eye that sort of makes her pupils dance when she swings from word to word.
This is a woman who wakes up with a purpose and squeezes the life out of her days, filling them up with challenges, brainstorming sessions, fits of laughter and goal-getting. She needs a man who understands her drive, can keep up with her, give her feedback and encouragement, and inspire her with his own passions and goals.
4. She's only interested in adults.
She's not against the Peter-Pan types, but she has no interest in dating or sleeping with them. Being a grown woman means she's attracted to grown men and those who behave like little boys make her feel like their mother, closing down any and all sexual attraction she may have had initially.
5. She's direct.
If she likes you, you'll know. She may even ask how you feel about her. If she decides to try dating, she won't be texting you three months without meeting nor will she date you for a year without a clear understanding of your goals, values and vision. She will want to know where you stand on big topics (marriage, kids, religion, politics) and won't be shy putting it out there.
6. She doesn't really care what anyone else thinks.
If she's living a life she's comfortable with and proud of, she will hope to get approval of those she loves and those you love. But at the end of the day, she's not going to campaign for likes. She's living on this earth as her own person in her own body and carving out her own space, and she's looking to share it with people who can appreciate her for who she really is.
7. She doesn't find that "two of us against the world" stuff romantic.
To be honest, it makes her feel suffocated. She wants you to be her partner in the world which is full of friends, restaurants, concert halls, countries and little spots that she only likes to visit alone. You and she will share your lives, but you'll never be "her whole life" — and she doesn't want to be yours.
8. She doesn't hate all of her exes — and she doesn't expect you to hate yours.
Adulthood teaches us that there are times when two good people meet and aren't a great match, and that's OK. This isn't high school, so she will expect you to be polite and not peacock around if someone from her past is at the same party. She will gladly offer the same graciousness.
9. But she expects you not to bring your problems with your exes into the relationship.
If things are "complicated" she will un-complicate them quickly by saying goodbye.
10. She firmly believes confidence can save a relationship (and insecurity can break it).
There isn't one among us who isn't uncertain now and then, and a good partner will make time to talk things through. That's much different than constantly having to reassure a partner that you like them/love them/care/are trustworthy, which is exhausting.
11. She isn't bullied by fear.
Yes, she gets nervous and has anxieties and worries, but she knows that knowledge and practice builds confidence. She would rather have her legs shake a little as she moves forward than be paralyzed by things that may never come to pass.
12. She doesn't care how much money you make.
She does, however, pay attention to how you handle it, how often you mention it, and how you react to finding out that she makes more.
13. She's looking for above average.
She's not interested in what "most people" do because she knows that "most people" aren't living authentic, happy lives. She's looking for someone who doesn't want to do the same thing 1,000 times, who doesn't confuse "relaxation" with "laziness," and who doesn't want to exist, but actually live.
14. She believes in love, but she won't force it.
Powerful, passionate women know that love is a beautiful thing and to cherish it when it comes, but they also know the difference between loving someone, being in love, and being in love with love. If they aren't feeling it, they'll be honest about it and will respect you for doing the same.
15. She takes her life seriously.
She loves to have fun, but she's not about to waste her time and energy on situations and people that aren't going to add value and good energy into her life.
Brenda Della Casa is the Author of Cinderella Was a Liar, The Managing Editor of Preston Bailey Designs, A Huffington Post Blogger and the Founder of BDC Life In Style. Facebook: BrendaDellaCasa, Twitter: @BrendaDellaCasa, Instagram: @BrendaDellaCasa.