We've got that whole "communication" thing mastered.
Being in a long distance relationship is tough as it is, but throw 4,000 miles in between and you are playing in Advanced Mode in the relationship challenge. Because I’m not going to lie — being with someone in another country is by far one of the hardest challenges you can be in.
As hard as Advanced Mode is, I wouldn’t trade my long distance relationship for anything in the world. My girlfriend and I are extremely close and in-tune with each other. We’re probably closer than couples that see each other every day! That might sound weird and maybe even impossible, but it’s true.
They always say that communication is foundations of a relationship, and it’s true. She’s a teacher and I’m a student. She’s also eight hours ahead of me; by the time she gets home her day is over where mine just started.
So how do we manage? Here’s some of what we do that really works:
+ We text about anything and everything. Even the boring stuff. We treat our situation as much as we can like we would if we saw each other every day. We share our lives through text — mundane and all. You have to. Even if you think the topic is stupid or not worth sharing, you share it anyway. It ties you together with your partner. We also use Snapchat to show each other a snippet of what we’re up to at any given instant so we can talk about it.
+ We FaceTime. A Lot. When we FaceTime, often times we don’t even talk to each other. That sounds weird but when we FaceTime we treat it as if we’re in the same room as one another, sitting together and doing whatever we want, such as watching something together, playing on our phones, or doing quizzes together. We’re mostly just looking for the other’s company to supplement not being able to see each other. Really we’re just making our situation as normal as possible.
+ We talk and talk and talk some more. When an ocean separates you (or a state) you have to learn to communicate verbally. Because we don’t live near each other we can’t have a primarily physical relationship (though I’ll bet you we have more sex than you do!). This allows for us to develop a close emotional relationship with each other.
Many long distance couples develop like this (if they’re serious). People always look at the drawbacks of long distance and often assume things like someone’s gonna cheat. Sure, that could happen. But, someone could cheat in a local relationship as well. Right?
Really what others see as a disadvantage is an advantage to me. Because we don’t have the physicality of each other distracting us, we get to know each other through conversation (or lack of after awhile).
As we communicate and our bond deepens and we FaceTime more and more, we begin to look like a married couple (which, we will be!) despite the distance.
We’ll nag each other, we’ll complain to each other, we’ll bicker and argue occasionally. We’re together when we get ready to start or end the day.
The only time it’s very difficult to deal with the distance is when you can’t kiss whenever you want, you can’t cuddle when someone is down, you can’t have makeup sex after an argument, and you don’t get to hold hands while you walk down the street like you see other couples doing.
But I still wouldn’t trade my relationship with her for anything in the world; we’ll be together soon enough.